Jun 02

Happy couple kissing in park

“I always questioned why is it when I do my hair really nice, do my make-up all cute and wear flattering clothes … no men approach me, but when I just be kind of basic, wear jeans and a t-shirt, put my hair in a pony tail and wear little to no make up, guys seem to have more compliments for me.”Dakota

On a former article (Dear Dragon: Why Do Men Seem Intimidated By My Beauty), Dakota made the above comment which received quite a number of answers. One which struck a chord with me due to it’s familiarity:

I want a girl that I can just relax with, someone who is chill and confident and knows that I like her the way she is, and someone who likes herself the way she is. If I see a girl who looks nice but not dressed up, I assume that she is a more relaxed girl, who is confident and doesn’t feel the need to wear ridiculous clothing and a bunch of disgusting make up to look to feel she looks good and I appreciate her natural beauty.

If I see a girl all done up, I assume she is a high-maintenance, less chill, more always worrying about how she looks. Less just relaxing and being happy and more stressing because she is taking forever to get ready. Plus if one is wearing make up, I have no idea what she looks like without it, I could wake up next to a totally different person. Where as with a natural girl, I know what I’m getting into.

I know a lot of it is assumptions and probably not true for everyone, but that’s why I’d prefer a girl who looks like she doesn’t care so much. It’s just easier, and I feel I’d get along with her better, as well as the fact that knowing a girl is confident in herself and the way she naturally looks, is so much hotter then a girl who feels that she is ugly without putting in a massive effort.

Alex Chalker

Let me start by saying that what Alex says is how many men feel when it comes to women. Some will take issue with what he’s saying–despite it being the truth that we so desperately seek–because it contradicts everything women believe men to be.

Just this past month, I was out with friends and we were doing a bit of people-watching. Being that it was late and we were next to a club, quite a number of barely-can-walk-in-heels struggle bunnies rolled by and I asked my lady, why was it that women forced themselves into heels?

It was something like: “I love the way heels makes a woman’s legs look, but don’t get it twisted, it isn’t necessary to wear them to get my attention.” The women at the table all but told me that I was full of it, but the males backed me up in saying that a chick with legs is a chick with legs – heels need not apply.

Show me a banger in short shorts and some sneakers and I guarantee you that she’ll do as well, if not better than her sister in heels, make-up, and a designer dress. Your mileage may vary (this all being opinion from several men), but the last time I checked, straight men like attractive women – in general. This being evidenced by the comment made by Alex.

How many of you men reading have attended track meets to watch women run sprints and jump around in athletic gear? Yeah, quite a few of you … no heels were out there and you were super-interested. (I’m just saying).

I got so much push back from the women based on my assertion that it began to look like they wanted me to appreciate their dressing up. Read what Alex wrote at the beginning of this article, no, really read it, he’s saying what many men feel.

Why do you think that you get more men coming up to you on your off days than the times when you’re feeling good and dressed to the nines? “I’d prefer a girl who looks like she doesn’t care so much” – is what he said, and I am here nodding my head like: yeah, that, exactly.

This isn’t to say that a well-dressed woman isn’t appreciated (because you are), it’s to say that it isn’t always necessary. Like I told the women that were out with us that night: “women dress to impress other women, anything else is probably a lie.”

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • sommer madness

    Nice article but one question. Why would a women, who likes men, dress to impress other women? As a woman I can say that a woman, at least the ones I know, spend time & money (for clothes, shoes, hair) to look good for men. Why would a straight woman dress for a chick? But I will say this…. people should dress for themselves not to impress nobody else. That’s how I feel. That way I won’t worry about dressing for a man as long as I’m not raggedy & busted lol Because according to this article it’s a waste of time to spend all this time and money getting done up when you say most men don’t care about all that extra stuff

    • Hi Sommer, the impressing part is about other women seeing what you have on and liking it, complimenting it, and/or envying it. Men don’t really factor in when you choose one shoe brand over another because most of us can’t even tell the difference, but another woman can. I hope that clears things up a bit.

      • sommer madness

        Ok I was referring to wearing certain outfits (short dresses, booty shorts, etc). But as far as shoe brands, clothing brands, etc yes I understand men don’t care. I never heard a dude say “look at her. She got *enter designer name here* lemme holla” lol if that’s what you’re talking about I agree

    • Raul

      I agreed with alex never though about it that way it makes crazy sense. But also when a girl dresses nice. It catches my eye makes me think she is sophisticated. Takes good care of her self. And well the looks work for my inner wild insticts. I think it depends on the kind of guy. I like girls with class and lady like traits. I also like girls that are simple, relax and confident of her appearance. So ladies keep dressing up.

    • Till91

      To asnwer your question about why it was said that women dress for other women. It is because all thoughout the ages women have been more focused on fasion than men. How many times have you heard a woman say “I can’t believe she is wearing white after labor day”? Most men do not even know why that is a “bad” thing. Or, “Why is she wearing flats with that dress?”. Women do it becasue subconsciously they do not want to be the focus of a private joke by other women. Guys do not care if you are wearing tube socks with your toes out, half painted (that aren’t matching your fingernails), a bathrobe, a shower cap with no makeup on. If he is genuinely attracted to you he will still think you are the most beautiful person in the world, and will go anywhere with you looking just like that. However, yes it is very nice when a woman dresses up for a mn. If he is any type of gentleman, appreciates it, but just know that to him it isn’t nessessary. Now on the otherhand, if a woman is out to impress a guy, do not wear so much makeup. Speaking for myself, I would like to see who it is i am meeting and not the mask of makeup, fake lashes, eyebrows and lips. If you look like a totally new person after you put on make up chances are you put too much on.