Dec 23

Whilst looking over the old journal that I kept throughout high school and the early years of college, I realized that it took the club life to instill within me the confidence to not doubt myself. Listening to some friends today who put themselves down even before engaging a female, I found passages within the journal when I was feeling very much the same way about girls that I liked. While no expert (is anybody?) I can at least share the steps it took to get past that mentality and become the pillar of confidence that I am. As we have always stated, confidence does wonders for your psyche and it wins you the women that would have otherwise considered you either disinterested (because you were afraid to approach) or corny (because you used a line or tripped up on someone else’s game attempting to make it your own).

As a student in high school I was shy, assumed that girls wanted guys who could buy them things and was unsure about my looks. Sure the older ladies would call me handsome and I had my share of glances here and there, as a boy you never believe it unless a girl that you are feeling goes with your program. Having a good friend who was sleeping with girls on the daily didn’t help either. Sure I would get the courage to step to a girl but they would let me down every time and it was always the ones that I wasn’t checking for that was showing interest.

Change your outlook on women (especially the Hawtes)

Going into my freshman year in College I met many women through different circumstances and it changed my outlook in a major way. While naturally quiet, I found that my dealings with enough superficial women sobered me a bit on the high ideal I had placed on my future love. Men tend to put women on this fragile pedestal of worship that in reality is unfair to ourselves and the women. This pedestal makes a man want to be worthy of the woman, and it handicaps him, stuns him and makes him feel inadequate. This is the reasoning behind the goofy nerd who becomes a power mogul snatching up tons of gold diggers as if they are mere toys instead of human beings.

Clubbing with the right people led to me dancing with friendly girls, meeting really cool Hip Hop chicks and seeing women in a more third dimensional light than before. I learnt that I was a good dancer, that I was actually good looking and I learnt that game was a task of trial and error, not having magical words. Before long and prior to my Sophomore year I was THAT GUY, grabbing women on the dance floor, grinding on them, collecting numbers, getting kicked out of bedrooms when the flirty senior saw my driver’s license and figured out my age. Yes it was a glorious lesson.

This example of mine goes to show that confidence is built through experience, the more you dabble, the more firm you are in your tools (what you are good at and what you are bad at). You also get to the point where you can gauge your target. Just because a woman is busty, beautiful and bashful, it doesn’t automatically make her a stuck-up prude, but it takes approaching 5-6 of them to put that into your head. If your approach has been limited to guesses, theories and hearsay then you won’t feel confident in stepping to the hawte, or you may assume wrong and get embarrassed.

Remember men, practice makes perfect and you have no clue on a person’s reality unless they share it with you. I don’t care if you are 300+ lbs and have pimples all over your face, you should spit game, get dissed and keep going. Trust, timing is everything and a big man can get in some dime piece panties as easily as an ugly dude with charisma can. Get your bumps in and good luck out there.

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  • RG

    You hit the nail on the head. This game isn’t complicated. It’s paint by numbers. Only experience breeds confidenc and comfort in approaching women. Well played sir…#staythirstymyfriend