Getting in the friend zone is something that men have lamented since the dawn of time. It is a situation that comes about from a lot of misunderstanding, fear, and a bit of entitlement. Generally men will put the blame on women for the friend zone, we tend to view it as manipulation on the part of the woman. She does just enough to keep you around but when you press the issue of a relationship, she shoots you down or limps away quickly. Comedian Eddie Murphy called it being a “Dick in the Glass Jar” because in essence you are being trained to become an extra “dick” in case the one she wants does not work out. Who here has been friend zoned? This is the part where I raise my hand. Chances are, many of you reading are in this situation right now. Well let’s see if we can find a way for you to avoid this relationship landmine.
Too often men will hang out with a woman in hopes that they will get a chance to be with her. It is a pretty typical thing to do and some women take advantage of it. You may be invited to special occasions to celebrate with her; you may even go out on dates, and you may even kiss. In your mind you are courting her but in her mind you are a close “guy friend” (which is like a girlfriend except the fact that you would jump her if she gave you a chance). When you get to this point you have become what we like to call her Mainstay.
The Mainstay is a guy that has all of the qualities that the girl wants but there is something that stops her from going to the next level. Some women may actually think that you are too good for them (seriously), and others may actually want you to stay single so that they can be with you when they are ready to settle down. The bonus to being in this position is that even when you catch a tantrum she will do whatever is necessary to get you back in the jar. The Mainstay, if he is foolish enough to continue the charade for years, could possibly end up marrying the woman.
Game Advantage: Dating Her Friends
If you have found yourself this far in, it is possible to flip the game on her and come out on top. Normally beautiful women hang out with other beautiful women and since you aren’t an item, you can take the opportunity to cozy up to the bff. The girls have already talked about you, you are probably seen in a positive light and the ice has been broken. They probably ask her all the time, “hey what’s up with you and him?” They want a guy and here is their friend hording you away in her glass jar. Sounds like a no-brainer to me.
Jump on the opportunity and kick it with one of them, especially if you all are out clubbing. Corner one by the bar and see what’s really going on. Even if you aren’t feeling her you need her to help break you out of the friend zone. Once you start making nice with another woman look how fast your girl tries to deny you. She will tell you that her friend is bad, that she sleeps with every guy and yadda, yadda, yadda. The things she will accuse your new interest of doing is probably a lot more than she has ever done while running her game on you. So stick to your guns and get out of the situation, but don’t go home alone, go home with her friend!
Three Steps to Getting Out of The Glass Jar (by The Marksman):
- Don’t be so available if she calls and wants to do something. Tell her “I already have a date tonight, I will call you later” and hang up.
- Don’t share every detail of your social life with her, all this does is gives her updates on what you are doing. As long as you aren’t meeting any women or she knows you don’t particularly like anyone, then she knows there is not a threat to her status.
- The hardest thing is to reject the affection, (I know it feels good) but you need to hug her like a friend and not allow all the kissing and groping to go on. If she wonders “what’s wrong” tell her that you are too much of a man to disrespect her like that when you know she is involved with someone else. That will throw her for a loop. Just watch the expression on her face and how she recovers to start telling you how great you are.
The point of all of this is to let you know that you are still in control ladies and gentlemen (I know that i am taking a man’s stance on this article but the friend zone knows no sex – pun intended). The friend zone is not the end of the world and once the prospect of a relationship is gone, you should probably be gone too.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.