May 24

Do you ever notice that some folks get a free pass to be single whereas others are scrutinized? Probably not since nobody pays attention to the fact that a single person is pushed towards marriage while a divorcee is given a pass to never have to marry again. It’s almost as if getting married is the point but staying married is not as important. This strikes me as odd because if its all about people pairing up, why isn’t the divorcee pushed towards a second marriage as much as the person who hasn’t married in the first place?

As an unmarried man I have heard some of the craziest and dumbest reasons why I should get married and have babies. One female friend of mine actually got upset with me because according to her I am the type of person that should be having babies but choose not to – I am what’s wrong with the world (rolls eyes). As if I am hurting the human race by making my own decisions. Others just simply push me towards marriage as if its the last step in this so-called race to success. People sell marriage like they do Network Marketing.

To men like myself it all just becomes a huge bother and one that we see as no-one else’s business but our own. My divorced friends are not seen as potential bachelors, they are not scrutinized for their failed nuptials – they are just left to be people. Think about it, if a married man that has gotten divorced decides that he will no longer get married but instead chooses to play the field and live his life, chances are more people than none will agree with him and give him free reign to do that. It’s as if the expensive marriage and time spent has earned him the right to become a playboy versus the single guy that believes that marriage isn’t for him. what an annoying double standard.

I would never push someone into marriage even if I were married. Most of us just want the freedom to be ourselves but regardless of our feelings and personal choice we are preyed upon by people that are beyond eager to bring us into their world.

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  • Have to disagree with this one. It depends on a number of things. How long the person was married, if they had kids during the marriage.

    As a divorcee that did not have children I am urged to get married and procreate just as much as my friends who have never been married. And it comes from family, friends and co-workers alike. I find that my friends who have never been married, but have kids are not taunted as much about spending a years salary on a wedding for other people to congregate and criticize.

    My boyfriend usually finds himself in similar settings.

    Neither of us get the prior marriage pass..*shrugs*

  • Its funny you wrote this because I have always contended that society takes more honor in a man being married and failing then a man never being married. The older a man gets the more society deems this man as having something wrong with him or him being homosexual. The thing is society wants everyone to acquiesece at some point tothe tradition of marriage. The monkier if Im doing it why can’ and won’t you…

  • Maya

    “It’s almost as if getting married is the point but staying married is not as important.”

    This is so true! From a different point of view, as a single parent! As a single parent you will NOT get judged if you were previously married. its totally acceptable to be a single parent only if you were married and it just didn’t work. My life didn’t happen like that! I have a kid and have not been married yet. People ask me was I previously married like its really relevant! Its REALLY not! im a single parent just like the chick that got divorced! Shoot! lol