Aug 02

I think I should start this article by saying this is primarily my advice for single people. It might apply to people dating/married but I tend to think if it did, it would be to a lesser degree. Ok so single people out there, sometimes in life we get to deal with annoying little reminders that we’re single and everyone else isn’t (or so it seems). One of the best reminders is when an ex gets married. Not only were you not good enough for the long term, but they found someone who was.

One of the biggest temptations a person can have, or so I’ve experienced, is to hate on your ex. I know everybody is different, and hell some people are bff’s with their exes, but I think it’s time to cover some ground rules for this occasion. Some of the temptations will creep in to tell the person off and explain how idiotic they are for marrying “that douchebag/ bitch”. How they’ll never be happy cuz they’re screwed up and everybody thinks they make a terrible couple. You must rise above this.

What should you say to your ex?


No really, don’t contact the person. Chances are even if it’s not meant to be sour, it’ll go that way. Just avoid all contact. Thanks to our modern age of cellphones and Facebook, it’s incredibly easy to slip into momentary insanity and contact them. Here’s my two unbreakable rules. Follow them:

1. Don’t delete their phone number unless you have to. Don’t call them, but if they contact you, you’ll look like a complete ass by answering “who’s this? I don’t have your number”. And yes, you will feel like an idiot when they find you deleted their number. You just got busted for acting like a pouting kid.

2. Don’t delete them from Facebook. Again, pouting kid. There’s an awesome ignore feature that you better use, cuz afterwards your wall is gonna be flooded with pics from their happiest day ever.

Unfortunately for some of us the temptation can be far more difficult to control. Like if they call you saying “Oh plzzz come to the wedding it would mean a lot to me”. You can say what you want; make up an excuse that sounds legit, or just say you’ll go then don’t. I wouldn’t make the mistake of sending back an official invite cuz then there will probably be an extra plate of food with your name on it and wasted money of theirs.

If you feel like you have to do SOMETHING, I have a little dose of therapy that just might do the trick. Let me use a personal example: my ex got into tattooing. She did a tattoo outline on my arm, but never finished it. On her wedding day I went and had it finished. Sort of a double middle finger, but I don’t think she took it that way. Made me feel much better. So yeah, go out and do something without that person that you may have been planning to do with them. Go to that special beach, or that awesome restaurant you always wanted to hit, or call up NASA and book a flight to the moon like you two always fantasized about.

Well I hope this helps. Just please don’t do yourself a disservice and act like a fool. It will only make you feel better for 5 minutes.

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  • Rob Heath

    Lol, what the eff is with that pic? Where was that taken from?

    • I think that Mr. Willis and the lovebirds actually posed for that badly shopped abortion sir. He just came to mind immediately with this article, dude is cucumber cool and I don’t know how he does it…. wait he was having daily sex with pron anal queen Alisha Klass, I guess that was a dumb question. Bruce Willis is a god amongst men.