Aug 21


Texting has unfairly become the scourge of dating. People will text more willingly than they are at attempting to carry on a normal telephone conversation.  I totally understand the draw to texting as it is convenient, you can reply at your leisure, and you can do other things while you are at it.  Texting almost makes things TOO convenient to the point where, it is easy to avoid talking on the phone and opt instead to text message.  It’s much easier to launch a new relationship by exchanging texts than it is to talk, and quite easy to say and do things over a screen that one would never have the nerve to do face to face (or say ear to ear).

Let’s be real here, texting is here to stay, it is not going anywhere, so you need to learn how to manage your communications when you meet someone new.  We are all guilty of it somewhat, you exchange phone numbers with someone, and you send them a text just to say hello.  They respond, and a conversation ensues, before you know it this becomes a trend because more than likely you are both texting during work hours and it helps you get through the day. You have to refrain from doing this.

Sending an occasional text to say hello or ask a quick question is perfectly fine, but getting someone’s life story on the screen of your cell phone is not going to cut it.  Texting makes the interactions with the person almost impersonal, there is no emotion and one can only deal with so many smiley faces and “LOL” statements before things get repetitive.  Also with the new services available on social networks they may already be following you on Twitter or Facebook, so you can count those as texts as well.

Most of the time there is no pertinent information contained in a text message, and should not be with the exception of communicating to setup a phone conversation later.  Telling a joke or passing on a bit of news to someone is acceptable as well, but under no circumstances should texting become your primary method of communication with a potential date.

Never ask for a date over a text message

The other problem with relying on text messaging too heavily is there is no instant gratification, you ask a question and may not get an answer to it for several hours.  So what is the point of asking time sensitive questions that you need to know the answer to over a text message?  That leads to another piece of advice, never ask for a date over a text message.  Many people have done it before, getting engaged in the texting back and forth and then ask for a date at the spur of the moment.  Do not do it, asking for a date over text message gives you no type of information.  When you ask a person out you want to get some indication of how they feel about it, and you will not get that over a text.  Then if they do not respond you are in a bind, you won’t be able to confront them about it without looking needy, and they can just say that they never got the text or that their phone ate it.

You want to ask questions like that in person or at least over the phone, you will be able to gauge the persons tone when they respond and get a sense of their  interest level.  Don’t be a coward, this will show your confidence and your ability to accept rejection without taking the easy way out.  On another note breaking up with someone over a text message is cowardly as well. Be straight forward with the person and tell them how you feel; using a text message for that (albeit funny) is one of the most cowardly things you can do.

Overall, texting is a good thing to have as a line of communication, but it should not replace in person contact or phone conversation as the primary means of contact.  You have to manage this communication and not get carried away with it. If a person never has the time or is unwilling to take a phone call then the prospect of a relationship working out with them is grim.  Do not make it easy for the person to keep you in the friend-zone, show your interest by seeing them in person rather than using text messaging as “quality time”.  Do this correctly, and texting will become a valuable tool rather than a hindrance to your relationships.

Don’t Let “Texting” Ruin your Dating Life originally appeared on The Shooting Range.

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  • Nice article. I just happen to be listening to this classic track by the Mighty O’Jays, and texting can let baggage slip in and ruin a potentially good relationship, or fun evening.