Jun 27

“Is it true? Can it be? How could she be DATING someone when she’s been so friendly with me on chat! NO! That BITCH! How could she!”

Guys (more males than females in my estimation) get “friendly” wrong so often. Some (insert A LOT) of us females like the attention we get online and will waste ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF TIME emailing with you, sending you photos of ourselves, chatting with you about what kind of coffee we prefer. You don’t like coffee, but you play along. What are the chances you are REALLY going to meet this chick? I mean c’mon! For those of you who think that flirting on Facebook is no different than online dating, you’re wrong. Facebook flirting is worse than online dating because people on Facebook aren’t on a dating site. They are on a social networking site SOCIALIZING.

For the ladies out there who are reading this article, I know you aren’t fools but sometimes I wonder what you are expecting out of these “well-meaning?” souls who you know would DIE to have the opportunity to “chat” with you in real life.

How much of this ego stroking do we REALLY need anyway? Who are we trying to fool when we blow an afternoon on scintillating conversation with someone we know we have no intention of meeting in person. The guys who can keep you going for hours online is seldom the guy you would REALLY pick out of a lineup.

I am also surprised by those females who flip out when these “well-meaning” guys respond so violently to feeling like they have been tricked. They HAVE been tricked — while doing some tricking of their own by buying into the time suck.

While my lens may be a bit critical and superficial, I know human behavior and am hopeful that most of you try to keep yourselves in moral check. It isn’t my job to police the truth or the fiction behind relationship status but it is a good indicator of who is really interested in my ‘product’, my ‘mind’, my ‘being’ from those guys who just want to fool themselves into believing I would go out with them. The amount of mail I received from guys who thought I had been dishonest with them was astounding yesterday when I announced that my alter-ego was now IN A RELATIONSHIP. In response to these mails, I took a good long hard look at my correspondence with these guys to make sure I wasn’t leading anyone on and decided to get rid of the wackos who were insistent that they had any kind of claim over me.

For those of us who are so naïve as to assume that Facebook is a legitimate platform with filters in place to guarantee your neighbor’s credibility, WAKE UP. Facebook is an entertainment and marketing tool that we use at our own risk. No one dates Cherry Tigris. No one knows how old she is for the same reason no one knows how old Wonder Woman is. I am old enough to learn lessons, to play games, to have fun and to block those who are so disingenuous about their intentions as to think they can “get to know me.” No one gets to know me. That’s what’s fun about it. The second we know anything about anything, we’ve lost the game.

For the guys out there who get your feelings hurt consistently, ask  yourself, “Would I be emailing and chatting with this chick if she had a boyfriend or was married?” At the end of the day, we are accountable only to ourselves. We are the products of our fulfilled or unfulfilled expectations and have COMPLETE control over the outcome of our emotions. Facebook is not the place to date, it is the place to socialize and to exchange ideas. Dating won’t happen because of Facebook, it will happen despite of it.

Here’s to the Journey!

Cherry Tigris
author, musician, anti-diva
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