Jun 14

lonely-girl-at-the-beach

Yesterday, Greg Dragon wrote an article about silencing those of us who rant on social media by sharing their “thanks Mom for playing Dad” stories. As an advocate for child abuse survivors and non-conformists everywhere, I beg to disagree with his varying thoughts on this. He states that those who rant on Father’s day are bitter and want to mess up the holiday for everyone else and that the rants are merely haters who like to male bash. He does his best to dissuade those of us from alternative backgrounds by offering a thunderous round of applause for parents forced to assume both roles. I am left wondering where their national holiday is. I often wonder why child abuse survivors must hide their disdain for the parents who got it wrong and why they should be ridiculed for choosing to celebrate the one that got it right on Mother’s or Father’s Day. In many ways I feel that there is too much attention paid to Moms and Dads who are celebrated just because they happen to own the title and not because they are REALLY extraordinary parents. It is my hope that our culture moves to more gender neutral holidays or that we at least loosen our standards a bit about who can celebrate whom and when.

I also feel that those who are most vocal about their hatred for these holidays should receive a little (insert A LOT) more empathy as they are generally the children that never had a voice to begin with. They are the children who were oftentimes beaten, abandoned, and used to the point they don’t know what a childhood even is. These are the people who can’t understand Christmas. For me, Easter was a nightmare of colossal proportions and I have no shame calling out a religion that abandoned me to potato-salad making, egg dying freaks who, behind the scenes, were raping and pillaging what could have been happier childhood memories. For a lot of us, these holidays are lies we fuel with greeting cards and presents out of feelings of obligation and in order to fit in with what everyone else is doing… not out of any REAL gratitude. Those of us who are REALLY grateful, show that gratitude every day of the week and not just when “society” is looking.

While I agree that no one wants to hear these sad stories on any holiday, perhaps we need to find a platform where the disenfranchised DO feel like they are listened to and not silenced. Without a forum where the truth can be shared and dealt with, we are left with largely phony holidays with a whole chorus of people who are really thinking, “k, what do I have to get my mom so that I don’t piss her off?” So many feel that a touchy feely post on Facebook is enough to make everyone think they are oh so perfect. Some of us want to expose the truth of the matter because we are bitter and angry and enraged that NO ONE believed us, NO ONE did anything to stop what was happening in our own houses, that EVERYONE ELSE isn’t as perfect as they seem. It’s about time that some of us stand up and expose those that got it wrong and what better day to do this than a national holiday?

It is my belief that the only way to stop abusers is to embarrass them and shame them. In my experience as Cherry Tigris, this is the most effective way of deterring their behavior because reporting them doesn’t work, calling CPS doesn’t work, telling the neighbors doesn’t work… Exposing them on a national holiday ensures that these offenders will get their fair share of a spotlight and I think great moms and dads will understand that sharing the spotlight is a sacrifice well worth making on behalf of society’s greater good. I do agree with Greg on one point though, when he implores us to keep our comments classy. While the mission of holding parents accountable for their crimes is important and necessary to expose, it’s also crucial to win public sentiment by not going too far in sharing our rage.

Do You Know About The Toilet Paper People?

Opting to fight back in the only way she knows how, Cherry Tigris creates a fantasy world of lovers and fighters who will distract her from a brutally unforgiving childhood of broken promises.

I would urge you to purchase and read Toilet Paper People because it will awaken awareness in you about the more undercover forms of bullying going on in the world. - Greg Dragon

Toilet Paper People is available at Amazon.com

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • dbum

    I’m not a huge fan of many holidays. it seems an excuse any more to spend money trying to pretend something that isn’t real and ignores the elephant in the room. Instead of Christmas, why not a present every month, just because I love the person? Let’s also not forget those that fall into the category of dead beat dad’s. There is even one on our national congress, which is embarrassing, to say the least.

    Gratefully yours,

    Rob

    • Thanks for commenting Rob, I am in full agreement with you on this since I believe that many of these holidays turn into ego-stroking, faux celebration that is really tribalism masked as genuine intent. But… what can we do? I know that I tend to stay off of Social Media during big holidays and during the big, viral court cases where everyone reacts passionately for all of a week. Cough, Casey Anthony (rolls eyes).

  • Lenee Baylor

    Good for you Cheryl, I applaud and celebrate your courage. I totally agree with exposing child abusers, sex offenders, and anyone who gets their twisted jollies from hurting innocent victims. As a survivor of sexual abuse, I am empowered by people like you.