Contrary to popular belief, it is very easy for a man to tell on the first date if he will be able to get a second. Most of the signs are there, but men do not see them right away. Several times I have walked down memory lane with my current boyfriend, discussing our first date and how he had no idea that I was looking to be more than friends. It can be difficult for a man to figure it out solely from the body language or the way she looks at him, but the signals are definitely there. If you pick up on them, there will be no guessing as to whether or not she will want to see you again.
1. She keeps the conversation going
A bored and uninterested woman will not listen intently to your stories and she will definitely not ask questions that require you to elaborate. She may even stare blankly at you (she isn’t really listening) and take chances to glance around the room at others because they are more intriguing than you. On the contrary, an interested woman will focus only on you, hang on your every word, and ask questions. She will laugh at your jokes, even when they are not funny and she will offer her experiences on your subject. For instance, you are telling her, “..and then my boss was just looking at me like I’m crazy!”..and she jumps in with a laugh “that very same thing happened to me! I was sitting at my desk and then my boss..”. If she is truly interested, she will do this the entire night and the only thing that stops the conversation is how late it’s getting.
2. She shows off her assets
Women often know their assets without you having to tell her. If she has a great smile, trust me she already knows it and will use it to her advantage. Interested woman with a great set of teeth will flash it every chance she can get at the table. Uninterested woman with a great set of teeth will keep them under wraps. She does not want to give you any reason to like her more than you already do. A woman who knows she looks good from the back will give you every opportunity to see it. Whether she keeps three feet ahead of you while being shown to the table, or takes a moment to give her best walk on her way to the ladies room, she is very aware of what she is doing and wants you to see it.
3. Her back up plan is ignored
One thing you have to understand is that a woman will always have a back up plan in case you are a horrible first date. She has one of her girls on deck, poised and ready to call about an hour into the date for a possible “out”. The phone rings during dinner with an “emergency” and she must leave as soon as possible. Bold women will get up immediately and apologize on her way out. Nicer women will just give the warning that she cannot stay long. If she is actually enjoying herself she will ignore the call and act as if it isn’t important. Her friend will know that she is safe and does not need rescuing and you will continue to enjoy her company as planned. Pay attention to this one. If she really likes you, she will make it a point to make it obvious that she thought about answering (phone rings and she looks at it) and then decided to call “her” back with emphasis on the “her” so you will know 1) she would rather give you her time, and 2) the ignored call was not a man.
4. She will offer to pick up at least half the bill
Now granted, this is depending upon the type of woman you like to date. We all know that chick who will never pick up the tab, but hopefully that is not the girl for you. A regular girl will be willing to pick up at least her part of the tab on the first date in order to show you she is on the date because she enjoys your company. I mean, lets face it, some women will go on a date just for that free meal. But if she is not that chick, and she is confident enough to pick up her part or all of the tab, she is throwing you a signal that states loud and clear that she is interested in your conversation, and not the depth of your pockets.
(This original 2010 article by Nia Syrah has been revised and republished)See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.