Apr 09

Happy Hour
This is easy-mode scamming for the young wolf. Think about it, you have a collective of women from the office, some single, some unhappily married and most cougars that are looking forward to some two-for-one drink action, a little eye-candy (which is where you come in) and some good laughs (all you again). Attending Happy Hour frequently with the same bunch can lead to a chance at sexy Tina from Marketing or Julie from Accounting when she’s loose off of some Tanqueray. Just play it cool, keep your ears open for the clues and eventually you will be able to slide in and out of that spot with ease. This like all of my suggestions is not a 100% certainty, but there is no hookup easier than an office hook-up, especially when you see these women for 7+ hours in the day. Trust me you grew on them the same way they have grown on you, so go ahead and get in where you fit in.

Church
You’ve heard the whole “church girls are easy” thing I bet, well this is only so if they believe that you are drinking the Kool-aid too. If you are the type to stay awake during sermons and devote some time 1-2 times a week for worship then you can hook your claws into a pious woman easily. If you want the pick of the litter then you should go as far as either joining the choir or the offices of the church – these guys get the prime picking of the women who attend. Not the outgoing type? Then they have singles meetings and all sorts of methods to marry off members to each other. Just sell her a dream and enjoy the benefits, although many churchy women know that fornication is a sin, they treat it like a teeny, tiny sin and before long your cold-blooded, fake, church going, behind will be reaping the benefits of your… erm faith.

TGIF, Bennigans or any Family Type Bar
Women feel safe in these dives because it doesn’t feel like that sleazy bar stereotype they show on movies. Here you can bring little Timmy to eat nachos while you watch the game, or you can post up at the bar and play it social. Go there on a Thursday afternoon or Friday night and you are bound to see freshly divorced cougar-types or cute single girls with their girlfriend. Bring your man to block the grenade and move in once you order your Tanqueray and tonic. Start it off with light conversation and the sky’s the limit, women flock to these places. I should know, I have a room rented out at my local TGIF – well I may as well have one. If you can’t get something out of these places I am not sure what you can do, it’s that easy

Art Shows or Private Art Openings
I don’t mean for you boys to go trolling a museum midday expecting to find hawtes. What I mean is the little hipster events where random college art student decides to have a little show to showcase her art that won’t sell. You know the type, you know it because you will normally laugh and avoid these things. That is the problem, the last one I attended it was wall to wall of single, cute, coed types. I felt like a piece of meat, luckily I was there with girlfriend in tow. If you like those afro wearing, beret rocking, summer dress types then you should be all over these events. Show up, look at some of the art pieces next to the hawte and strike up conversation about the composition or whatever-the-f-ck. You should be leaving every single one of these events with at least three numbers, thank me later.

Weddings
Do yourself a favor and don’t join in on the other hard-legs acting shy around the garter and chatting tough instead of mingling during the dance. Go to a wedding, play friendly, smile and talk to the brides maids – this is money. Women are at their most vulnerable during certain events in life, it can be a death, it can be after a bad break-up and it can be after an injury that you helped nurse back to health. One of the most vulnerable times for a woman that most guys miss out on is on their friend’s wedding day. They go through emotions of happiness, jealousy and desperation and if you are the nice, outreaching single guy chatting them up at the reception then you are almost guaranteed a call back if you aren’t gangster enough to have her in the bathroom by the time the father/daughter dance is over (chuuuuurch). Don’t miss out on wedding opportunities fellas, be like a wolf and pounce.

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  • Dwayne

    man you are cracking me up. please keep it coming.