What do you say to a child that has to go to school every day when they know that they will be subjected to abuse? Do you tell them “oh you just stand up to that bully son! I will not be upset if you get suspended for fighting back!” Or do you tell him/her to go to the principal? While parenting is one of the hardest jobs ever, you cannot dismiss bullying as a growth mechanic that will teach your kid a valuable lesson about life. The reason I say this is because no bullied child ever gets over the scars even as adults. Yes, the grade school taunting will make someone self-conscious even if they’re 40 and a CEO of a business.
It doesn’t help that the bully is some loser now on a jail rotation and dying. It doesn’t matter that you conquered life and have a beautiful family and more money than you can count even if you tried. Socially the bullying has damaged your psyche beyond repair and the fact that therapy, an apology from the assailants and the peers who jeered never happened… Mentally you will find yourself still unable to deal with ridicule.
Many of the hardcore introverts who scarcely leave home for anything were bullied. They use statements like “I hate people” or “I wouldn’t fit in” to avoid your get-togethers. Some hold a deep prejudice towards those who favor their bullies in a hardcore way. This can be broken down as such:
- Girls used to bully me so I don’t hang out with any girls… Except for my bff.
- I’m black and went to a school where ony 2 of us were not black and they made my life hell. I hate black people.
- Change out black and white for any other combination in the above bullet.
- I was a skinny wrestler and the 200lb seniors on the team would punk me after practice every day. I hate all muscular meat heads!
It becomes a never-ending cycle. Imagine you missed out on the perfect job just for looking a certain way, based on some little bastard that bullied the hiring manager in 3rd grade? Not fair is it? Well neither was it for that kid back in the day. Just as people like to blow off racism as non-existent on the internet people like to defend bullies as being “young and confused”. You can believe that all you want but it doesn’t help either person.
Ask a child who is now a grown man/woman what should be done with bullies in school and the answer will be along the lines of expulsion, death or damage with extreme prejudice. Nobody gets over the bullying, so if you’ve never been on that side of the fence in an extreme way then your opinion is priveleged and worthless (yup this is for you too racism denying trolls).
This is a topic that needs to be taken seriously and as someone who fought back, got suspended, fought some more, etc. I know that most kids aren’t like me. Still I, like many am guilty of saying “I hate people”, being a happy introvert and giving certain people the side-eye until they prove themselves to be different than what I expect. It all started from grade school and we are all the worse or better for it.
A final note:
Some of you associate bullying as pushing some kid around and physically hurting them daily. I hate to break it to you but continuous name-calling, purposefully restricting someone from any of your friends and unwanted advances are classified as bullying just the same. It’s not all about punches and wedgies, actually many people would prefer those to the verbal hell that they’ve dealt with.
“Sticks and stones break only bones and bones they heal so fast. But words destroy and kill the soul till nothing’s left at last” – Author unknown
With that I invite any of you out there that have been bullied and know it has affected you in your adult life to send me your story HERE. We will never expose your name (unless you want us to) and will publish it on the Hall as part of our Dragons Against Bullying week coming soon. Thanks for reading.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.