Apr 02

Mixed couple in bed fighting

There have been quite a few guys that have gotten in trouble for masturbating in the absence of their girlfriends or wives. Why did they get in trouble? Well it is normally a mix of mistrust, misunderstanding and naivete by the woman.

See a man may look at masturbation as a means to an end, he has the urge and he wants to alleviate it as soon as possible. Some women counter that they should be enough to satisfy a man’s desires, but men require action at a much more aggressive rate than a woman does and a woman who has a problem with her man masturbating is probably not a sexual nymph that is willing to go at any given moment. Hence the problem.

It is for this reason that I advise men to get with women who match their tastes in sex and masturbation. If you’re a sexual prude that hides your feelings or assumes it dirty, then get with a woman who echoes the sentiment. If you’re a regular guy who loves exploration, freaky girls and masturbating once in a blue, then stick to women that are comfortable with their bodies, touch themselves once in awhile (or all the time) and would rather you do the same rather than find alternative means.

But he is mentally with another woman who isn’t me

This is a common one that I hear whenever this topic arises and it’s normally from women with trust issues or a very repressed background. The thing about this argument is that while it’s true on the surface, the way a man watches porn makes it damn near impossible to develop any type of emotional attachment to the starlet onscreen. Men who look at magazines or movies to fap (masturbate) tend to go through several images and scenes before finishing. The memory of said woman or scene is rarely kept and the act is so void of emotion, that you can almost liken it to spitting, vomiting or any other bodily function… it’s a means to release that is over with quickly.

Now if your man is burning candles, setting up the bed in ritual and “going at it” to one actress in particular (especially if she’s solo) then yes you should worry about being replaced with his right hand. In my opinion a man being caught in the act should not be any more embarrassed than if you were to walk into the bathroom and he was still on the toilet, but again this is based on the type of woman involved.

Flip the script – what would most men do?

It’s amazing that I have never heard a man complain about walking in on his girl to find her getting off to random picture or movie. I do not believe that this is due to it never happening, but that it’s due to the difference in mentality. A woman walks in on that and it immediately becomes about her and why she isn’t enough for her “perverted” man. A man walks in and it’s party time, pull up a chair to watch or join the action if a welcome is extended. Why can’t our women offer the same? I know, I know – we’re wired differently.

I want you women reading who are on the ropes about this to know that it is not about you. A man’s hand, toy or random device designed to replicate a vagina can never replace you… I wish I could say the same about your toys as I know some women who have happily settled on letting their toy be the end-all, be-all to their sexual desires, but the point is that you’re getting worked up for nothing. Masturbating is not sex and it’s not cheating so for sanity’s sake give it up and let him play in peace.

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  • DDee

    A man who masturbates is sexually healthy and secure in his sensuality. A man who can use his imagination to pleasure himself is my kind of man (such a turn-on)! I believe the key to achieving sexual bliss starts in the mind, a woman/man who is comfortable with touching and exploring their body to bring sexual satisfaction is better able to express to their sexual partner about what excites them. I encourage masturbation in my relationships, the most sexually fulfilling relationships have been with men who masturbate, I find that men who don’t masturbate cannot keep up with me, lack stamina leave me feeling unsatisfied in the bedroom.

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