Same story, you know the deal, late night, bachelor’s party… or was it a birthday? Does it even matter, thing is it was a bunch of us boys and we were in the mood for dancing, and naked lovelies. Only one place for that right, ya you know it, the “Gentleman’s Club”. So lately I haven’t been feeling these places due to a few arguments I’ve had with the lady, but tonight it was my boy’s last day to be single so what the hell. I find a chick that you would say is his taste – tall, dark (Latin or Italian) and built like a brick house. A thoroughbred type of cutey, the kind that lesser men shy away from – reasoned with her to give him 5 for a hundred, happy birthday!
Little did I know that while I was being a stand-up guy for the soon-to-be groom, my man Terrence had found “my type” too! A cute blond, girl next door type, b-cup, petite, the whole nine-yards and she was acting shy and everything. So she and I get to talking and I find out that she was a newbie who was trying this strip thing for the first time (your boys fangs came out)! Terrence bought me two dances but on the second dance they call her name to do the stage showcase… she panicked saying that she didn’t know what to do. Taking the lead I call over the gorilla in a suit to ask him about it and he says she can keep on dancing its no problem, by this time the song was almost over so honey hooks me up with a freebie.
Getting comfortable the lady hangs out on my lap after song number three and we start talking, flirting the whole nine yards. To a green horn this could have been mistaken for her “liking” me beyond Stripper/John relations but I was just having a good time, with cute company. It stretched on and I figured I was burning this chick’s time so I get a couple more dances, this time it was a bit more intense. I mean before it was air dance sexiness but this time she put the monkey on my lap and was trying to make fire – it was fucking hot! After the second song ended, she kept going and I gave her the “what the hell look” figured she was gaming me for the third. She told me to relax, it was all free and she was just too worked up to stop (queue record skipping), honey kept grinding and grinding breathing heavily as if she was running a mile. A couple dances later and my little fray train grinded to a halt, shuddering and digging her thumbs into my shoulders. What the fuck just happened? What do you think happened? When we parted ways I had a big friggin wet spot on my pants! It’s like “you’re welcome hun, I’m here till 3am”. I didn’t know what to be excited or disgusted, I couldn’t think straight afterwards – I got a stripper off!
For you people out there reading who figure this for yet another day at the nasty strip Club, I’m gonna tell you straight up THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN! But it happened to me, and ya I burnt the clothes but the rest of the night is history. I guess I have that kind of effect on women, even the “working girl” types eh. What a night!See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.