Mar 18

Fellas, if you have a beautiful wife with twins – you may not want to be sneaking off into dorm rooms to dip your chips in some sour cream from next door… you get me? In June 2010, the New York Post reported that ex-Giants Running Back Tiki Barber (the dude with the 5-mile grin) was out of money and unable to pay his divorce settlement with his ex- wife. Now we learn that Tiki Barber will be returning to the NFL in order to cash in on a much-needed payday after going insane and letting his dick take over for his brain (was the booty THAT good Tiki?) I am not sure how well this will work out for Tiki as fans have booed him recently after he made some remarks about the Giants organization and Eli Manning. Tiki has a big mouth, and he apparently is a hardcore victim of “black man’s kryptonite” – The results: His wife has rightfully taken him to the cleaners.

“After seeing how much fun Ronde is still having, it reignited my fire”

Shut up Tiki, you’re not fooling anybody. Just like you didn’t fool your wife that you were out playing poker at Ronde’s house when you were balls deep in some co-ed strange. You showed your ass when you chose to divorce your mother of two who was currently pregnant with twins for this young woman last year and now you want the same NFL that you disrespected to bail your ass out when it comes time to pay for it. Sorry bruh, I can’t sympathize with you. Maybe it’s time to do some more Direct-TV ads or whatever that was where you were jigging in front of the cable guy. Are you even in shape to play football? I know that going all Brian Pumper on a young blonde must be quite a workout but are you able to take a hit from Ray Lewis coming across the middle? I guess time will tell.

The NFL may not have a season this year, due to the lockout and labor disagreements. Tiki needs money fast, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the young girl isn’t seeded up as well. Tiki looks like the type to bust his jump-offs raw on the constant, hell it’s not like he respected his wife to have the common decency of wearing condoms during his “sessions”. Our buddy the Marksman over at broke down Tiki’s bullcrap in April of last year when the world found out that he had left his wife for some young intern. His article “From Beauty to Becky – The Tiki Barber Story” took Tiki to task in his transgressions, and I would urge you all to read it.

Crime: Being A Shit Father Figure and Hero to Future Athletes

Tiki, you aren’t Buck from Boogey Nights, you are another athlete example of shit financial decisions and letting your penis decide your fate. A smarter man would have got the booty maybe twice, then go back to the wife and kids. Look I’m a pragmatic man, a big ass baller like you USED TO BE deserves a goomah or two. Hell Tiger had like 200 of em, and I see you boys share the same taste. But at least Tiger went home to his family in the evening, lol, he didn’t go trying to wife the side-piece. You dumb ass – see people forgave Tiger, we’re just going to laugh at you. Good luck explaining this to your four kids later on by your now ex-wife.

Length of Stay: 10 Years

Get comfy in my Basement Tiki, we have refreshments – some nice ice water and a ton of videos featuring young, hot blondes for your pleasure. I look forward to seeing what team will pick you up and whether or not you will see the field. How about you try closing your big trap, get some professionalism and mend some of the relationships that you have allowed your massive ego to destroy eh? No? Okay then lights out buddy, enjoy your stay.


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  • Well we have good news and bad news about inmate Tiki… the good news is he made his young blonde piece his wife. Nice rock on her finger and all of that good stuff but the bad news is the NFL never called. Could this mean the obvious? Dried up bank account due to alimony and child payment… young hot wife expecting the princess life, leaving when the NFL stud she banged turned out to be brokedown Charlie? Tiki I’m not sure if you’re a religious man but you ought to be calling on some deity RIGHT NOW!

    Remember kids, burning bridges is a bad thing, especially if you intend on cheating on your pregnant wife after doing so. Enjoy your stay Tiki… douche.