Dec 05

On many articles written here I have mentioned the aspect of rejection bumps and getting used to the word “NO”. Easier said than done for you tender hearts, I know, but it’s important. The way that most players earn their stripes to becoming ladies men is the same way people at a call center get better at their jobs.

In a call center you try your best to be cordial, stay professional and not lose your cool through all the “get lost” and ” lose my number you jackass” that you receive on a daily basis. It’s a hazing that usually results in a lack of care for the insults as you get seasoned into the job and master it. You begin to notice patterns, you learn to spot a weakness in their defense and before long you’re getting ace numbers.

Just like a call center employee you have to step to girls and take the rejection like a man. With every rejection your wounded resolve will strengthen and before long you will have a nice collection of prospects that you can call for a date, to chat and the occassional booty call. You may have to go throught 20 women telling you to piss off before you meet your future girlfriend but trust me, she will be worth the effort since you would have not met her otherwise.

Do not take it personally, even if a woman is a complete bitch to you. Just dust off your shoulder and move on to the next one. I personally did this successfully back in my hardcore dating days and I use to do it inside of the clubs when looking for numbers from several women. This somewhat juvenile tactic used to work because out of the 12 numbers or so 2 of them would be the genuine article. What it did for me however was to give me a steel resolve at anytime to walk up and see what’s going on with a woman that I admire. That is playing the law of averages, it works, it builds character and it will make you into a wolfman.

Here’s some musical motivation as you run down the line of women…

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Yo! This post right here came right on time for me. I recently wrote a post entitled “I’ve NEVER Approached a Woman in My Life”. In the post I opened up about my issues with rejection and the affects that it has had on my life. I’ve heard a lot about what I should do to fix it, but hearing sometimes just doesn’t ignite doing.

    This post has allowed me to look at it from a different perspective. Now I still have to man up and take the first step. Thank you for your encouraging and inspiring words.

    By the way, if you’d like to read the post I wrote here is the link:

    • Definitely going to check your post out and I am so glad that this article helped you even a little bit to get over the hesitation. One thing I’ve always told myself whenever doubts come to mind prior to stepping to a girl is that “the worst thing she can do is say no”. I know with certain women of a certain crowd, putting us on blast is their thing but even if you run into a person like that shes doing you a favor and she’s doing the good girl who gets you a favor by broadcasting her bitchy ways.

      Just think of it as a sport, and trust me if you stepped to her and you both hit it off, she will respect you so much more for it. People eat it up when they ask the “how did you guys meet” crap question and the woman comes off with a hunter/prey story about how you “tricked” her into going out with you.

      Thanks for your comment!

      • You make some very great points and I believe everything that you’re telling me. I find the hardest thing for me to do is knowing what to say when I approach a woman. I can admit that I have no ‘game’ and to be honest I don’t want any game. I just want to know how I should approach a situation when I see a woman I’m attracted to. I’ve been allowing my lack of a intro hinder me from even taking a step in the woman’s direction. Do you have any insight you could share with me regarding what to say? Thanks a lot for all of your assistance.

      • My advice for approaching women is to normalize them. They’re just women, humans like us who want the same things we do… they just hide it better. I think many of us put women on a different level so we naturally over-think what we should say or do when confronting someone new. I am naturally shy and an introvert so what I used to do to overcome my issue is the same thing I do for any scary situation that I’m forced to take lead on… I just take a step and do it before my brain has a chance to start analyzing. Trust me, even if you go up to a woman and completely freeze up, she knows what time it is and barring her being a bitch trying to clown you, if she likes you, she will start the conversation, or at least ask you “what’s up”.

        The biggest part of the approach is in knowing that within seconds a woman knows whether or not she wants to deal with you. This is even before you open your mouth. Some guys who have stripes in trial and error have found ways to make women rethink the initial, by being funny, being an interesting character or just being convenient. When you step up to a woman it’s not going to be about what you say, it’s going to be about what she assumes you to be.

        So I can step up and say “hey, how’re you doing?” which is as normal as it goes (I’ll flash a smile to let her know I’m not there to sell her tupperware) and if she comes at me with her own name, I know I have a conversationalist for a bit. At that point I talk to her like I would my cousin, my friend’s friend, just anyone in general – no lines, no pressure for her number and letting me hit it in the bathroom or any of the movie bullcrap. It’s merely standard conversation and then within our chat I will have gleaned whether she and I would get along or not. Exchange info before leaving and you’re good to go. If she blows you off then mentally blot her out and enjoy the rest of the night.

        Wanna completely screw a woman up? Do that conversation thing, have her laughing and then don’t bother getting her info. Do it as an exercise, do it to make your resolve stronger. Trust me the fact that you aim to get nothing out of it will make you braver and you will find that it’s too easy to pass up. Flirting is fun, and when you get a woman going like that and leave, forcing her to think about you and mention you to friends etc…. you may get a stalker trying her damnest to catch up with you out there again.

        Good luck with overcoming your hesitation sir, it’s an obstacle that will better other parts of your life too, trust me. Business meetings, retreats, traveling abroad etc. there will always be opportunities and beautiful birds to kick it with.

  • Yo! Thank you Greg! Seriously man. That’s some of the most sound advice I’ve ever received about approaching women. I will definitely make mental notes of what you said. I like the idea you posed about not even going after a number. Just approach her, hold a conversation and keep it moving. I think that method could definitely help me build up a resolve. Thanks again Greg. You insight may have just changed my life!

    • Happy to help J, plus you know you have an edge being a blog writer right? You know how to express yourself better than you give yourself credit for, so ya strike up some convo without a real goal in mind and I bet you’ll impress yourself and probably impress her too.

      • I honestly never thought of it that way. LOL! I’m sure I will shock us both…no doubt about that. Thanks again Greg.

  • That’s why its called liquid courage. Get a few sips to let the liquor touch you, and bam let the game begin. Another issue I believe that needs to be addressed with this men putting too much of themselves into trying to find a woman. Some guys tend to put their heart out and rock it like a corsage on prom night every time they step to a woman for a potential date.

    • That’s true. Only thing about putting yourself out there like that is the danger that comes along with it. I’ve always been reserved. I couldn’t imagine wearing my heart and feeling out in the open like that. It’s almost like someone asking to get hurt.