May 03

Look you can collect my Player’s Club Card, call me out, whatever but I have faked it many times in the past. Not all guys are Jason Biggs on American Pie busting in our pants at the thought of some “strange”. Some of us are very controlled in that department and others are even the opposite – some guys have a hard time finishing. It’s amazing how little we all know about the opposite sex (men and women) yet we have been together since time immortal. What’s up with that?

There are no shortage of articles throwing the “I faked it on your weak sex game” blast in the faces of men everywhere, but I wonder if these writers bragging about this realize that the game works both ways. Look unless we are practicing unprotected sex combined with coitus interruptus (pull out and ejaculate method), you have no idea what’s going on, do you? No you don’t, so let’s get into why a man would do this awful thing.

Why Would A Man Fake An Orgasm

He’s Tired: Look you may feel like heaven but after an hour of beating it up, it starts to feel like slave labor. Top that off with your incessant “are you close” and we just want to tap out and pick back up in the morning. It happens, sometimes you just can’t summon the flood, it gets stubborn and you automatically switch gears to porn star longevity.

He’s Not Feeling You: I’m an artist and I can imagine a whole world of things but for some reason swapping Meagan Good’s body with yours mentally never works. I can’t say all guys have this issue because the paper bag champs only need some friction to bust but if a man isn’t feeling you, your smell or your body… He may just fake it to get done with it once and for all. We don’t want you talking shit so we fake rather than quitting – get me?

He’s hurting you: No man wants to quit and if your juices aren’t flowing and you’re not hot enough to make him semi-insane while inside of you then he’ll fake it just to spare you from skin burns and the inability to walk the next day.

He isn’t into girls: Not saying dude likes men but sometimes guys like their hand a whole lot better… Let’s keep it 100 here. If your man is beating up Jack Palmer on the daily then chances are that’s all his penis knows and wants. You may not be able to bring him to orgasm as you can’t emulate his fist… Sad I know but it’s your fault! Why aren’t you giving it up more!? Just kidding.

How Can You Tell If He’s Faking

I have no idea, check the bag, check his sensitivity, or just deal with it. We deal with you faking it on the daily, so just do like we (men) do – charge it to the game.

So ladies, does this surprise any of you? Have you suspected that the man of your life faked it on your first time because he had anxiety issues? Well it’s real and I hope this helps you understand us a tad bit more.

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  • Lol! Very true. Many women just don’t believe that we can fake it too. Good post!

  • JustMyThought

    Gasp! I never would have thought . . . too funny, i think i knew this, but thanks for saying it out loud! Especially during drunk sex, my ex would just straight tap out, it was hilarious, we implemented a rule, no drunk booty unless both parties are inebriated