As men we aren’t given the luxury of crying, bragging about cyber-stalking our exes, and blaming the patriarchy (well some of you still do this); this does not mean that you have no options. Men find it just as hard to get over an ex as women do but society makes it very hard to express. In the 1996 movie Swingers, Mike played by Jon Favreau portrays a guy that cannot get over his ex, no matter how many strange women, theories and strippers that his friends throw his way.
Many of us are wired differently, so while it may be easy for a guy like me to say “get over her and move on”, the truth of the matter is that like Mike, many of you simply can’t. The following list is of some real things that you can do as a man to get over your ex, especially if there is no chance of getting back with her (especially if one of you cheated, she got pregnant by another man, she got married, etc.)
Start By Removing The Evidence:
Get rid of her pictures, especially the ones that have you in them, remove and block her on social media, and ban your friends from bringing her up and giving you updates. Believe it or not it isn’t very hard to get rid of someone from your life, this is in both Social Media and your personal circle. Once this is done, (if the breakup was toxic) you can opt to change your number, change your email or simply put up the necessary blocks in place to avoid her.
She Will Cyber-Stalk You
With knowledge that an unhealthy amount of women like to troll around on our pages to keep track on our rebounds, you may want to limit your online exposure. Don’t fall into the trap of posting to show the world how much of a boss you are. The less you reveal your life’s updates on Facebook, the less this woman will feel the urge to “accidentally” bump into you at your favorite spot, or dish on you in her relationship blog. Become a ghost, block her name and email, then move on with your life.
Resist The Urge To Bring Her Up On Dates
People who haven’t gotten over their exes appear as the most pathetic creatures in dating. Nobody gives a damn that your ex did you dirty, especially if the person being told is a date. You may think that it will warn them to not repeat the same mistake with you, or it may seem like great conversation but from the other end of the table it is read as pathetic. Stick to forward-thinking topics on your dates, things like what she likes to do for fun, what you like to do for fun, and how beautiful she looks in the candle light.
Avoid The Rebound
Common mistakes made by weaker men who could not get over a breakup is to run up into the first woman that lets him and produce a baby that is barely loved and hardly wanted. Do not be that douchebag, for the love of everything sane, avoid the trap that comes with rebounding. It is pretty bad when you have rebound sex thinking that it will magically remove the ex from your brain and all you do is knock-up a stranger while still missing your ex afterwards. If releasing your seed is the answer to missing your ex, better to masturbate than having a rebound. Recovery should not come at the expense of some new kid’s life and 18 years of being chained to a strange woman.
Take A Lengthy Break
The men I personally know that survived a bad break-up and grew from it are the ones who took it as a learning opportunity and didn’t rush into anything. As men (especially if you are successful) your stock only rises, it’s the privilege of attraction, take advantage of this and slow down. Date lots of chicks, have lots of sex, and the one that eventually wins your heart is the one you run with. This is why I advise guys not to start dating till about 2 months after the break-up. This gives you a good span of time to heal-up, man-up, and refocus.
What I propose here isn’t the law, it is merely suggestions for your healing phase but I will say that these steps have done wonders for me throughout my life. I cannot tell you what any of my exes are doing, who they are dating, and when last I spoke to them. My focus is solely on the woman in my life as it should be. The way that I got to this point was by doing everything that I listed here; there is no need to stalk, obsess, and cry for months, just press on young warrior and walk off into the sunset.