Jul 12

Barry Manilow has a wonderful song by the name of Copacabana, it is linked below this article for you younger folks who don’t know Manilow or his sound. The song details one club dancer by the name of Lola who fell in love with the bartender “Tony” at her club and ended up losing him to a gangster’s gun shot. The song is short, sweet and tragic but the tale is a familiar one for most guys who dread having to defend their lady’s honor in public. It was simple, Lola was hot as hell, gangster Rico came into the club and put down on her hardcore and for argument’s sake he probably palmed her ass as he has done 100 times before. Lola being an attractive club chick would normally melt into the arms of this made guy but she was already taken by Tony the bartender. So Tony seeing this going down, sails across the bar to beat Rico’s ass and is met with a hammer to the chest, dead on arrival. Lola, sad and scarred beyond measure over the entire thing, wilts and ages at the Copacabana for the rest of her life. Damn Barry, you sweet singing bastard, you had to give it to us raw didn’t you?

I have seen so many Tonys get stomped in the club that it isn’t even funny. The music, drugs and alcohol are all ingredients to a vicious mixture of ego and machismo that makes for guys to disrespect other guys in order to appease that inner douchebag we all have. Men are trying to kiss on your tipsy wife when you return from the bathroom, nerds are copping feels on her ass from behind a crowd and the big loser is in her face asking her over and over for a dance. If you’re built like Vin Diesel and have the swagger of Hulk Hogan then these lesser animals may scatter at your entrance but for an average guy, oft times you have to bully up and go off in someone’s mouth.

This is one thing I hate about crowds of people hopped up on goofballs, I find that my normally calm demeanor has to be sacrificed in order to turn ape on guys to show dominance. People look at prisons as the only place where we revert to our animal characteristics but anywhere that involves liquor, women and a whole lot of guys is going to have bully posturing. I refuse to let another man eat off of my plate uninvited so more often than none we’re going to fight (fuck arguing) or you’re going to excuse yourself and take your paw off of my lady. Anything less is seen as being civilized, but to the raw male instinct it’s seen as bitch and the same guys will continue to disrespect you and your girl forever. The worst cases of this nonsense will get men shot, hawked (stabbed) and stomped in the ground. But what choice are we given in these circumstances? You can drop trou, bend over and take it or you can bleed like a man and whisk your maiden home once you’ve posted bail. Women are beautiful and irresistible but damn if they aren’t dangerous when it comes to rival men.

So, much respect goes out to Tony of that Copacabana song, he died being a man and while it’s a tragic and wonderful story, it is a natural occurrence in life. Women love the Ricos of the world, they aren’t afraid to pull the trigger and that is sexy to them. But women love their Tonys too because a good guy making a modest living can be as much a man as a gangster sporting a diamond. It’s unfortunate that Tony ran into a bigger dog than himself in the yard and got his neck snapped, but he died a man of honor. Here’s to the Tonys of the world, good gentlemen who are willing to get primal when the time demands it. After all it’s women that look like Lola which causes us to do the worst to one another. To quote Tony Soprano “what can you do?” Salut!

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  • Remembering season 1 of Martin.. the episode where Martin was in a Nipsie’s with Gina and had a martini glass in each hand… some guy stepped on Martin’s foot and Martin attempted a mild morph into Tony… It was funny as hell. I think Gina talked him out of it.. if memory serves me correctly. Martin was trying to be romantic, when all she wanted was time alone with him. Watched that a few days ago w/my college bound daughter and I told her… in real life, dudes will behave that way. And not just the gangster ones on drugs.. and not just the ones in the U.S. clubs.. 8 years in the Navy, I’ve seen it happen all over the world.. And these weren’t drunken sailors I observed. You hit the nail on the head… but I beg to differ that it’s always the offender full of ego and machismo. It’s often times the defender.. Come on!?? He stepped on your foot? It’s a crowded club!! Feel get stepped on!! And usually, from what I’ve seen.. where there’s a defender, there’s a side-kick or little buddy coming to the rescue. Skipper and Gilligan, I call them! Definitely not Batman & Robin. They’ve gotta mess up a good time with a fight! And a real lady, even if a stranger put his hands on her improperly in a club environment, wouldn’t want a bar brawl -in her honor. Maybe ya’ll should just ask first.. “Shall I kick his ass, baby?” Get the “No, that’s ok, I’m alright.” Kiss kiss. And move on. Challenging a fool to a duel.. the odds are 50/50 you’ll get shot. What’s the point? A good time ruined?

    I know I know your point is… there are Gangsters and gangsters wives.. that love their gangster life! And they’re in it for life! Honor bound.

    Good read. Good write! – made me laugh out loud though, when you said “..it is linked below this article for you younger folks who don’t know Manilow or his sound.” – I always think of you as one of those “younger folks.” You’re a good writer. And good writers ARE sorta worldly. More! More!

    • Thanks for the compliments and the great insight Jackie! I’m young but I grew up listening to music 20 years older than me as well as watching old black and white films so I feel like an older man. You bring up a good point about the defenders trying to become bold white knights for their women but that’s a different type of guy who deserves to get beat up. The Tonys of the world are men who on instinct will rush at Rico for overstepping without thought to people seeing him or hoping his buddies will hold him back.

      I wish more women would diffuse the situation but lots of times they are more interested in seeing Rico get his ass kicked.

  • P.S… Now I’m gonna have that song in my head all day!