Have a man in your life that you plan on shopping for this holiday? Chances are you have some things in mind that he will merely raise an eyebrow at while pretending to be happy. See contrary to popular belief, shopping for men is not easy–especially if that man is the successful breadwinner type. We end up with colognes that we barely wear, bad video games that we keep packaged up, and gift packages from websites that still offer up suggestions for 60’s era men (cigars, ties, cufflinks, etc.)
The things that the modern man wants are a little bit more abstract than you think and many of them will surprise you. The following list of do’s and don’ts are things that you should consider when shopping for the man in your life.
A List of Things We Don’t Want
Ties – With the holidays being a break from work, the last thing I would want is another noose to remind me that in a month or so I will be hanging in the rat race.
Electric Shaver – Pay attention to what we already have and love. No man wants the pressure of putting his favorite (reliable) shaver off to the side to pretend to use the new, highly-rated, expensive, piece of crap you bought on Christmas.
X-Box One or Playstation 4 – We got it… don’t do something that will force you to return it later. If your man is a gamer, he already has one of these advanced systems preordered and will be getting it in the middle of November.
Blah blah Gift Set – Please don’t be this lazy and naive, this gift is only a step above money or a gift card.
Stupid Frat-boy shit that websites push as gifts for men – Please do not buy “men” anything with the words Beer and Pong in it, any liquor kit, or anything catered to 18 year olds in college.
Ideas For Men That You May Not Think About
Instead of buying a $400 game system, how about dropping all of that bakery on a gift that your man won’t buy for himself? How about:
A poker table for the gambling card player or a pool table for someone like myself that cracks a mean cue. Red felt is oh so gangster and you can expect him to actually stay home more since the tournaments will now be held at your house!
As I mentioned above, you don’t want to shop for things that we are so passionate about that we buy ourselves. Nothing irks a man more than hearing “hey don’t buy that because I’ll be getting it for you on Christmas”… that is sooo LAZY! Not to mention that it delays the nerd from playing a game that all of his friends will be talking about. Consider these alternatives:
External Battery Case for smart phone – Who couldn’t use several extra hours of battery time for their phone. We IT guys are actually on our phones more that teenage girls so a gift like this can be a godsend.
Gaming chair – Your guy will look at it funny, act unimpressed and put it in the corner for awhile until he sits on it. Once you experience a gaming chair, you become fan for life… it frees up space, allows you to hit the ground and play for hours and it looks simple.
Gifts For The Traditional Man’s Man
Are you married or dating a straight up dude? You know, the sort of guy that will check off at least 7 of the 10 things that men are stereotyped for? Well the rest of my list is dedicated to that guy. The traditional man’s man is a simple beast to shop for, but if you want to really impress him steer away from grilling products, car accessories and team jerseys. Let’s see what else you can buy:
Black/brown leather jacket – Being that these things are super pricey the average man will not spend the cash needed to procure one of them. Anyone man without a good leather jacket will really appreciate one once he gets it. The leather jacket is durable, manly, and has a smell that is unforgettable.
Thin front-pocket wallet – Many men still sit on their wallet and will tell you that they are used to it. Of course our ass cheeks are numb permanently as men, think about it – we got our asses slapped to death from High School sports, we sit on bleachers, and we wear wallets that are so thick that we may as well be sitting on a rock. Buy your man a thin, front loader and force him to reduce the crap he’s carrying around and give his ass some well needed rest.
An official NFL Jersey – Not the cheap $40 knockoffs in your local sports store. Get your NFL fanboi a true replica jersey of the man he identifies with in the NFL and watch him grin ear to ear this Christmas. Homophobic guys with an aversion to wearing another man’s name need not apply, but if your guy is an NFL fan, buy the jersey.
Men speak up, is there anything off the radar that you’re hoping to receive this Christmas?See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.