Jan 22

white_gokuDear Hollywood, please step away from our video games and anime. It is quite obvious that you cannot transition animated stories into live action properly, regardless of the success that was The Dark Knight and Iron Man. What seems to have been an exploitation of the nerdy sub-culture has gone a bit too far now and I would like for you to back off. I was more than happy back when your depictions of us nerds were glasses wearing, bad postured, asexual losers rather than take our sub-culture seriously and try to resell things we love in a cheap live-action package.

With movies on the horizon like Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li (when did she become legendary?), Dragon Ball: Evolution (google this abortion and count the cries of disappointment), an M.Knight version of Avatar The Last Air Bender and a whole host of other potential stinkers scheduled for release, you must understand my annoyance. Let us not forget the attempts at Super Mario Bros., Double Dragon, Fist of the North Star, Street Fighter, (shall I continue?) All movies that will bring out laughter when mentioned. Just give it up, we don’t want live action versions of anime and games we love.

Consider this, when you talk to a lover of anime they will point out things like “I love the animation”, ” I love (insert character from said anime)”, “that story kicks so much ass”, “(insert director) is the best!” – that is the responses from your average anime fan. The outside world doesn’t appreciate the work behind them and cannot separate anime and hentai so you get comments like “they look like little girls”, “I stopped watching cartoons as a kid” or “Japan is full of perverts”. So why would you take something as complicated as this style in film, Americanize it (including swapping out Japanese characters for American characters), release it to a general audience and expect it to do well? This baffles me… one would think you would at least cater to the fans who actually know what the hell it is.

Video Games can have deep intriguing stories, many of them are as complex as books with great character development, protagonists, antagonists, story arcs etc. Many of these games are not made into movies. No the games that they make movies out of have a story that was thrown together to give relevance to the characters. Let’s take Chun Li, her story is simple: Dad got killed by M.Bison, she grows up and joins Interpol to seek revenge, joins a world tournament to fight her dad’s killer. That’s all folks… so you would think they would find a deeper character to make a movie from… like I dunno Solid Snake from Metal Gear maybe, who already has about 6 games worth of solid storyline that would transition easily. Nah that makes too much sense right?

If they’re going for nerd viewership, they should stick to epics like Lord of The Rings, it’s impossible to match a book to film but at least those movies were done very well. Harry Potter is doing quite well and so did quite a number of other book to movie transitions (I personally hated the DUNE movie after following the books but that’s me being an anal fanboi) so they should stick to that. Anime will not work on the big screen, the super-deformed manga-esque facial expressions and humor that an anime fan looks forward to cannot be conveyed to an actor, it’s apples to oranges, you fail from the jump. Plus let’s face it, you always screw up the selection of people to play the roles, you fux with the stories and you make it into apple pie Americana, no thank you.

So please,  just stop already. This is one frequent movie-goer who is sincere in his promise that I will boycott every last one of these turds that you reproduce as live action.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • unlobos

    First off this article is biased. I’m a big fan of all the movies you mentioned. Fist of the North Star had Gary Friggin’ Daniels and Dante Basco (so dreamy). It was so close to the anime I was amazed!!! And Street fighter I saw just because of Van Damme. How can you not like him??? And for me Raul Julia had the best performance of his life. Sadly he died after that movie I so loved him in Adams Family. M Knight Shamalan is a master of cinema and Noah Ringer played and awesome Ang. You need to rematch the anime and see the subtleties you missed. Don’t get me started on your DBZ comments. Justin Chatwin is an amazing actor. He’s like a living Jonathon Brandis (rest his soul) and he had the best live action Goku. Apparently you didn’t watch DBZ either. Justin was so dramatic in War of the Worlds and acted out a convincing Goku. His martial arts was bad ass! Lord of the Riings was so terrible I didn’t even see the rest. How could they leave out Tom Bombadil!!!!

    This article is useless and you should re-think on your comments.

    unlobos