May 21

couple in bed

As we become more vocal about our needs, wants, and humanity, a lot of things that have been stereotyped as the norm for us have been proven otherwise and it is blowing women’s minds. One of these “things” happens to be the stereotype that all men are sex-craved animals.

Some women get into marriages assuming that they can use their Mountain of Venus as a bargaining chip, a reward for hubby washing the car, mowing the lawn, or any number of other chores; but chances are nowadays that hubby ends up barely being in the mood to begin with.

What comes of this is a woman desperately seeking answers to the lack of sex-drive that her man seems to have and then the accusations begin to fly…

Does he have another woman, is he obsessed with porn (you gotta love this one), is he drinking too much or taking drugs? Everything else goes through her mind except one reality – that maybe men aren’t all horn-dogs like her beta-chick bestie would have her believe?

Things I’ve Noticed About Relationship Sex…

When I was younger I had this rule that whenever sex was available it was my manly duty to perform to make up for the long periods of time that I would want it but it wasn’t there, and also the “bust one for the alliance” which was to have tons of sex for the guys who weren’t as lucky as I am. When I got older I looked back at that thought process and laugh.

Men force themselves to go through sex a lot more than we would admit due to the pressure of society saying that before anything else we should be a hard dick with some strength behind it. I’ve already written about faking orgasms – which is a part of all of it but the bottom line is this of this to say – we don’t always want it,  just like women don’t.

Women tend to take it personal when you turn down sex because they still see it as an act of giving to the male – “How dare he refuse this gift!”

I’m Kinda Tired Babe…

Sometimes in relationships the couple’s timing is off based on their lifestyles and it really sucks the wind out of their sex lives. The man may work 9 to 5 at a super stressful job and only gets his peace by alone time from 5 – 6 when the dust has settled. To do this he may sit in front of the television, play a computer game, or do mundane chores. At the same time his girl gets her horns up at 6 pm every night and tries to pressure stressed out, beat-down man for mind-blowing sex… which translates to more work!

He doesn’t tell her this because he feels that as a man he should be slaying her dragon on the regular and she gets confused because just last night he was trying foreplay games to get her in the mood…

Going off assumptions that all men love sex all day, every day, then turning it into accusations when you find this to be untrue will only lead to hurt and misunderstanding instead of smanging and orgasming ladies. This is one of those things where therapists beg you to COMMUNICATE about what the problem really is.

Sure at times it may be you and your fading beauty, but most times it’s because you have the worse timing known to man.  Talk it out and stop blaming every damn thing on porn!

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