When I wrote about beautiful women being both bullied and worshiped by society, I had no idea that it would receive the sort of response it has over these last 2 years. We have had men and women come on here to tell the world that beautiful women are just looking for attention and have nothing to complain about but the amount of women that have commented to say otherwise has spoken volumes.
There is a problem with the way that we see and treat women that are considered “beautiful”, “drop-dead gorgeous” or anything similar. The problem is that like people who have money, we all assume that they always have it good. All you have to do is to step back, take yourself out of the equation, go neutral and observe for yourself to see it – trust me. I’ve seen it, many others have seen it, and people are finally talking about it. One of these people to chime in on the theory of “beauty is a curse” is a commentator named browneyedgirl, she left the following comment on the article and I had to share it:
Beautiful Brown Eyed Girl’s Comment
I would say there are distinct disadvantages AND advantages in being regarded as ‘beautiful’. Since childhood I had fairly low self-esteem and never regarded myself as beautiful but once I hit college I began to gain a lot of attention from guys and girls – I chose to experiment with my sexuality when I was younger – As I’ve gotten older I feel I’ve become more physically attractive and certainly in the workplace is has caused problems.
I worked with a team of men as Graphic Designer for a big well known internet company, I was often ridiculed and mocked by one guy in particular – turns out he thought that I was hot – and he really couldn’t handle the fact that I stood up for myself; that I also had a personality; an intelligent brain as well as consideration and respect for others. Another guy began to act very strange despite having a long-term girlfriend. It all became so weird and awkward that I filed a complaint with my manager who didn’t do much about it. Thankfully I transferred abroad in the end.
Now I feel as though I’m experiencing it all over again. My team is mainly men who are married, and they all appear to fancy me… I find it bizarre since I didn’t give them any signals that I was interested, but I guess men find it acceptable to gawp at you. The difference however with these guys is that though they find me attractive, they seem to have enough respect to know where my boundaries are and they also value my skills and talents. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing as I am now living in an Asia whereas before I was in the UK where I found that women are treated very poorly, worse than in Asian countries funnily enough…
“when others regard you as beautiful you get free things”
On the plus side, at least in my experience when others regard you as beautiful you get free things which is always nice 🙂 I’ve had people in shops and restaurants give me free products, food and drinks. Guys in particular treat you in a friendlier way – which can sometimes be flattering and other times be very annoying. As I’ve grown older I have begun to focus more on the inside of myself rather than what I look like to others and it’s been real eye opening for me.
I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if I didn’t look the way I did or rely on my looks to get me to certain places in life. In all honesty I’m grateful to have two legs, two arms, eyes and ears that work. I’m still single since I’ve always been selective about who I give all of myself to but confident that I will meet the right man who will love me for me. And I’m sure that all the beautiful women out there in the world with a good heart will also find that when the timing is right.
Summing it up – My personal thoughts
When you read the story above I am sure that browneyedgirl either made you see red (if you are of the belief that the good outweighs the bad) or she has you nodding in recognition of her frustration. As a man I read it as a woman who enjoyed the gifts that came with beauty – once she past her ugly duckling phase – but when she matured to wanting acknowledgement for her skill, the world didn’t mature with her. Not very fair to the world is it?
Still, I liked her positive outlook at the end. She didn’t blame all men for wanting to cast her into marble and worship her, she didn’t write off women as harpies whose jealousy held her back, and she seems to genuinely want a happy ending to her tale. I am sure that with this attitude she will get it.
My only question to browneyedgirl would be whether or not the looks and positions of these married men that ogled and objectified her at the job had anything to do with her aversion to their attraction. Let’s be real here, Don Draper is seen as a reality to many of us because we know very well that a handsome, alpha male with money can easily get with any woman in the office.
What do you think of her commentary? I would love to hear from the men and women that read it.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.