May 03

Woman waiting for a call

As men we can over-complicate the dating game to the point where we think we need formulas and metrics to get things right, but more often than none the more you over-think something, the more chances you have of losing confidence in yourself.

Take as an example the act of “getting her number”, which has become the initial step in courtship. Some guys take the number, think on her for the entire day, brag to their boys about how “bad” (as in sexy) she is and then sit on it for a day before calling. You would think that with the amount of feelings the man had for that woman he would call her immediately, but he fears that he will seem desperate and possibly scare her away.

Come on we’ve all been there with this thought, and it is so bad that we use this formula even when the woman isn’t the one who gave us the number. I remember back when MySpace was king I had a friend call me up and mention that his buddy (a woman) saw me and wanted to talk to me. After doing a little stalking of her photos to make sure that I wasn’t being trolled, or pulled into a minefield (grenade joke), I asked him to get me her number and I called her up the next night.

“It’s a losing game for a man”

That little decision to call her messed with me the entire day because it took me turning off my male analytical brain to call the chick and see how serious she was about kicking it with me. She turned out to be a bird but still that’s besides the point, I actually hesitated and it was due to what was embedded in my head about the “2-day rule”.

When a woman commits to giving a man her number, it’s not a whimsical decision unless she is handing out fakes. When you part after she gives it to you, she can be just as excited at the prospect of dating as you are about calling her. It’s the same as always… we express it outwardly and the ladies play coy. It’s as if you’re playing Poker and the man is the braggart with no game and the woman is the quiet hustler reading him patiently while her chips grow steadily.

It’s a losing game for a man (as usual) but women want the prize just as badly as we do. The point I am trying to make however is that even though the man is the one who gets the number, the woman is just as anxious in anticipating the phone call. This is why having a magical number of days and time to wait before calling someone you really like will not hurt or help you anymore than asking her out on approach. If a woman is feeling you, she’s feeling you, and if she isn’t then waiting a day to call her will not blur her memory on how corny you were when you met.

There is No Time Limit

For most young girls who can be impatient and idealistic, a man should call within a few days(2) but older women (in my experience) either take the initiative to call, or will put it out of their minds after a time. A confident man will wait a couple of weeks before calling a woman. It’s the ultimate test of mindset. Think about it, if she complains that he took forever he knows she was waiting; if she doesn’t remember him it means that she gives her number out a lot. There are so many truths that can be gleaned from a late call to a woman that it’s almost recommended, just to see how well you can close.

Of course many readers will disagree with a 2-week span, especially women because it reads as disinterest from the male, but the point of the matter is 1 day, 2 days, 2 weeks, whatever, if you want her – pick up the phone and call. Most men will discard a number after 3 days for fear of embarrassment from waiting too long… but I have to ask them, why? The worst she can say is no, and no should be an indicator that she wasn’t really feeling you in the 1st place.

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  • If only I’d seen this a couple of days ago…

  • Sarah

    If a guy waits 2 weeks to call me, then I wouldn’t even bother picking up the phone. I would write him off as a selfish, insecure, game playing loser. Real men don’t need to play those games, which will only attract insecure, desperate women.

    • YadiStyles

      Insecure