Jul 14


You’ve heard it before, hell every male has heard it before, but in practice you may have tried it and failed miserably. How do you show confidence without coming off as a total douche to the opposite sex? Well if you have to ask, chances are you haven’t been doing well in this department.  Confidence is second nature to a truly confident person,  it is shown in his walk, his talk and the way he performs in every day life. So the question really should be, “how do I become confident?” Here are a few tips to help you along the path:

Do not evaluate yourself through the eyes of others

When you look to others to give you confirmation in your life, you end up missing out on personal choices that could have made you happy. It will also allow you to become motivated by mediocrity. If you can step outside of public approval and walk your own path, you will show signs of leadership and others will eventually you for it. You will also look incredibly sexy to the opposite sex.

Be willing to break out of your comfort zone

Confident people can appear to be adventurous, open-minded and brave. At times you should be spontaneous and do–or go–somewhere so out of your norm. Too afraid to break your comfort zone? Do it regardless of your instincts. (Don’t do it as a bitter puss either, smile and do the damn thing and try to have a good time).

Confident people can take a compliment

Do you dismiss compliments as people patronizing you? Do you look down and do the foot thing, embarassed because someone said you look cute? Learn to take compliments as nothing more than… well compliments. A good exchange for men would be:

Hot chick: “That suit looks great on you, I think that you look very handsome”
You: “Thank you, I love this suit, good to know it’s working on me.”

The thing is, you probably associate that response with cockiness but to be cocky is to push fake confidence into people’s faces. A cocky response would be “ya I know I look good“, which only works for some guys. If an already confident guy (in the positive sense) responded that way, it doesn’t seem as bad as an obviously awkward guy trying to be confident by making a cocky statement.

A confident person can laugh at himself

Taking yourself too seriously lately? That is not a show of toughness or confidence, quite the opposite actually. Let’s say for instance we use the Comedy Club example: You are at a Comedy Club and the main headliner singles you out in the crowd and heckles you. What would the confident person do? Laugh at himself and roll with the punches or get pissed off and sink into his seat? If you watch a lot of comedy, you know this trend well and you see the results of it. If the comedian heckles someone in the crowd and they get a negative reaction, they continue. If the guy or gal being heckled laughs at themselves, it normally prompts the comedian to move on to a weaker victim. The same is true in life, if someone sees a weakness in your self image, they may exploit it at your expense, but when a person can roll with the punches, they appear invincible.

So go forth, and be confident. If you want an example of confidence think of Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca: a man who is obviously madly in love with a woman but confident and cool enough to maintain a level head when all hell breaks loose. That is confidence, be like Bogart. A more modern example, although crazy is Captain Jack Sparrow on Pirates of The Carribean, EVERYONE thinks Jack is off his rocker…except Jack. Do people’s view of him stop anything that he does? Hell no, in fact he is so damn confident that he gets the girl–even though he is a dirty booty-chasing pirate.

Remember, if you are “trying” to show confidence you will fail, but if you practice confidence in everyday life, it will pay itself off in the long run.

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  • Don Carlo

    Cool article. Good stuff.

  • Antonio M. Daniels

    Very good tips. Be yourself — that’s the true way to becoming a confident person. We live in a time where people are too focused on trying to be other people rather than embracing what’s unique about themselves.