May 20

Most guys abide by the law of the public restroom, you go in, you handle your business, you wash up and then you leave. Everyone knows that the worst thing you can do to a man short of sexually harassing him in the bathroom is to sneak a peek at his junk while he’s taking a leak – I mean, what are you looking over there for anyway? Most men will keep their eyes on the wall, or look down while peeing so as not to even be confused with that line-crosser who is sizing you up while you release. This is a pretty popular sentiment that even women joke about with us guys but have you ever encountered a Stall Pigeon?

Introducing The Stall Pigeon

One day at my job I had the urge to use the restroom being that it was after lunch and the body had to do what it does. Upon settling down on the toilet and breaking out the phone to do some “bathroom blogging” I hear someone loudly enter the bathroom and enter into the stall next to mine. This individual was quite tall being that I could see the top of his head from over the dividers and instead of using the urinal he strangely chose to use the stall. Being that I am a bit of a prude when it comes to the bathroom, I had finished my business and was waiting for “pee in the stall” boy to leave, when above the dividers came a pair of eyes. This bastard had committed the ultimate sin… he looked into my stall!

Recognizing who it was (a quiet guy from down the hall) I involuntarily burst out laughing till tears came out of my eyes, causing the pigeon to hurry out of the bathroom. For him it was too late as he had chosen the wrong stall to glance into but for me it was the funniest thing in the world. Why in the world would you want to look into another stall? I am a tall guy myself and could 100% take on the Stall Pigeon uniform but I don’t really care to. I hate hearing another person in the next stall let alone seeing them – sorry but no peaking for me.

From that day on I dubbed that guy and other line-crossers like him “Stall Pigeons”, because I liken them to dirty birds, perched above your stall, staring down into your soul or attempting to glance at your junk. It’s made for some funny jokes on the poor bastard’s behalf but he’s lucky as most Stall Pigeons will incite violence. Have you ever had a Stall Pigeon spy on you? I’m curious to know, if you have please share your story of the legendary bird.

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  • Lol! Some people are just too curious. They have this uncontrollable urge to know everything, even what others have in their pants. This guy could have been plotting to do this for some time to you too. Good job!

    • Lol, don’t make it worse than it is sir, I already can’t look at dude without busting out laughing. He’s a legend in the office, apparently the pigeon has been busy!

  • Lol!