Jul 20

When men breakup, they take it the hardest. Women? We a) Cry b) Cry with our friends and c) Cry with ice cream on the phone to our mothers, friends, sisters and any other female within a 5 mile radius… The beautician, the hairdresser – everyone. No one looks at a woman weird for crying. If she tears up, at the end of the day she’ll say that she’s a woman to get out of it and no man will ever question her. Put a MAN in the same mix and dear God, his heart might be in shreds but because of social conditioning he FORCES himself NOT to cry. He is a man and crying is “weak”, its a woman’s thing and he cannot be eaten alive by all the other guys that are not crying out there.

I cannot imagine as a female the pain that men endure deep within when something hurts them. I cannot imagine what its like to stuff your emotions deep down inside because society expects you to be tough and strong and not show anything. It has often been said that women confide in women and men also confide in us. Truth be told, a woman/female friend or girlfriend is a man’s intimacy. I know my male friends and I have ex-boyfriends that have confided in me things that they would never tell their boys. They can’t tell them because around other men they need to put on a strong image, whereas around me they feel relaxed and comfortable enough to open up and be “human-like”. Women need to remember that a man’s intimacy is ONLY with a woman. By intimacy, i don’t just mean sex, I mean connecting on an emotional level.

Men and Rejection

When a man likes a woman, I  cannot imagine how difficult it is to approach her and combat rejection and fear at the same time. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and if you aren’t man enough, hell naw. End Of. It must be hard to have society pressure you to make the first move, to engage her in interesting convo, ask for her number, call her and not make an idiot of yourself. Take her out, make sure she enjoys herself so that she wants to see you again, control your own urge to bone her the moment you first lock eyes with her and whatever else. I’m a woman and because of that, I’ve never asked a man out. I wouldn’t even know HOW to if I liked a man and he didn’t get it (that i did!). In my present mindset, i’d just think he wasn’t man enough to step to me because truth be told, the first move IS terrifying. I’ve had male friends call me and ask me for the best advice when they are dealing with a woman in the mix because no-one knows a woman better than another woman.

When men are made redundant and especially if they are supporting a family, I cannot imagine the pressure placed on them. They know their place in society and it eats away at them to be the bread-winner of the family no matter how much the lady is earning at present. The blow to the male ego can be beyond measure.

So although i know a lot of guys out there act like idiots, I genuinely go easy on them because I sympathize with their internal battle of looking at everything in life like a mountain that has to be conquered. It isn’t easy and it takes a lot of focus and courage to do that. I have a lot of respect for men who are building their lives out there to be the best that they can be, I am so proud of you 😀

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  • Rashaad

    Two words : Thank you