Editor’s Note: I lost my grandmother and uncle to the war on Cancer due to their lifestyles of smoking like a cast member on Mad Men. From this personal experience and that of watching my little brother smoking and coughing like a coal engine from the 1800’s I have made up my mind that smoking is the last thing I would do next to playing Russian roulette and having unprotected sex with a prostitute (bear with me). Given this hardcore stance I was approached by a representative of Vapor4Life e-cigarettes to try out their brand of smoking alternatives to see if it was worthy of giving them some love in these Halls. Well I asked my buddy Robert to be the guinea pig (he quit smoking and has been fighting the urge for months) and he came back singing high praises of the V4L brand. Being that the truth was in the product I felt that I could offer this alternative to you smoking fire dragons who wish to find an alternative that won’t offend the people in your life who continuously hound you to quit…
E-Cigarettes can help MMORPG nerds raid without interruption! You’re raiding, it’s late, and the cigarette cravings are overwhelming since you’re trying to quit. The raid SHOULD have finished at 9pm, but it’s 11 o’clock and your guild must not feel like you’ve been tortured enough already. You decide to abandon your guildmates to go outside for a smoke. Now, not only are they pissed off that you aren’t running this boss with them, but you have to suffer the cold weather to soothe your nerves with a smoke.
Let me do you a solid here. Vapor4Life makes electronic cigarettes for people like you. E-cigarettes produce a water vapor instead of smoke so there’s no gross smell. Plus, with one of these e-cigarettes, you won’t have to tear apart your furniture looking for the only lighter that you own. You know the one I’m talking about. The batteries on these e-cigarettes stand out. You won’t have to throw away batteries left and right like with other e-cig brands. V4L’s e-cigarette batteries can be charged up to 300 times and come in several different colors.
The company also offers 150 flavors for you to enjoy… even a coffee flavor. I only hope that a bacon flavor is coming soon. These flavors don’t leave any smells like cigarettes, but you’ll feel like you just took a long drag on a real cigarette. Cheap and convenient, you can keep your money! You can buy wall chargers or USB adapters from V4L’s website, and if you charge the e-cigarette overnight it’ll last you about a day and a half. V4L also offers some good deals to get you started. For $50, you get two rechargeable batteries, a carrying case, a wall charger, and five cartomizers with your choice of flavor and strength.
You can also order a box of 5 blank cartomizers to mix or fill with your own flavors for $10. This all adds up to be way cheaper than cigarettes, which is good, but also means that you don’t have to go to that sketchy gas station to get your cigarettes anymore, which is even better. Classy! I think the best thing about these electronic cigarettes is how acceptable they are compared to the average cigarette. I’ve seen people using them in restaurants, offices, grocery stores—basically, places where people don’t want cigarette smoke, but are more open (or maybe confused) when it comes to the rights of those with e-cigarettes. The lack of smell also means you can smoke it in your home, man-cave or apartment without having to smell it later. Now you can raid AND satisfy your cravings at the same time, and maybe you could impress a girl or two in the process. Who said you couldn’t multitask?See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.