Oct 12

I absolutely HATE when people ask me "Why don’t you want any kids?"

I recently spoke with a good friend that I have been out of contact with for some time. In the first few conversations I was asked the question that irks me beyond words.

“Why don’t you want any kids?”

I absolutely HATE when people ask me this question because it implies that I should have kids. And Why? Why is it that only women get asked these dumb ass questions? I don’t hear of people asking men about children. Is that what women my age are supposed do? Is it because traditionally women should be the ones crazy about children? Because all humans (specifically women) need to reproduce? Well screw all that!!! I live for me and beyond other people’s expectations. Why couldn’t she have asked me about school or work? Or how about my life goals or hell ask me about my health. But no, the first thing you think of is about some damn children? Chile please!! Personally I would rather travel and experience other cultures in new countries.

So let me give you all some of my truths I dropped on her:

Why is it that some people feel that children need to validate our existence?

Children are not the end all be all. I don’t know one woman with kids that is not struggling in one way or another. The women I know have the bulk if not all of the load and responsibility for their children. Single or Married …. Makes no difference. They are still a baby momma with a ring and a better title.

Why is it that people with children try so damn hard to get you to join their club?

People will sell you the beauty of children and motherhood… blah blah blah!!! But they don’t really tell you the stress they experience physically, mentally, or emotionally. They don’t tell you the dreams they traded in for a car seat and the damn matching stroller. They don’t really talk about the sacrifices they had to make. No!! They only want to sell you the beauty in giving birth/raising children. Ha!

Note: Cute don’t pay the bills or cure stress. I can borrow a cute kid and give them back when they stress me!

Listen, motherhood/parenting is what it is. It can be great for all you moms. Some of you women were just “born to be mothers”. But don’t be offended when I curse your ass out for asking about my womb!!!! People need to live their own lives and stop imposing their thoughts and feelings on others.

Learn to create your own rules to your life and stop living on autopilot!! And in the words of the rapper Rocko “You just do you and Imma do me” so stop with the dumb ass questions please.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Chuntel

    yessssss feel the same way, 33 no kids w/ a longtime bf & ppl think we are the weirdest ppl in the world cuz we don’t want kids and have delayed marriage smh
    I just found this blog but I like it..thanks!!

  • McThick

    I think people tend to ask women about kids because it is highly common for women in their late 20’s and early thirties to have children. It’s just a talking point, like discussing the weather. (My father-in-law and I can talk about the weather for 30 minutes at a time.)

    Having said that, there are people that push too hard. “How come you don’t have kids?” is not a way to make light conversation.

    Having said THAT, as someone who has kids, I can completely understand why you aren’t really into that idea. Having kids DOES mean giving up on a lot of fun things. Sure, there are rewards that go with kids, but I would be lying if I said I don’t think about things I could be doing otherwise.

    Just ignore the ignorant. They’re just socially inept for the most part, they’re not trying to hate.