Apr 16

Man stares at two women

Improving your appearance will get you more looks from the opposite sex and more looks can be translated into more dating opportunities. One of the most important reasons for being yourself in both your appearance and your attitude is because you want to attract a woman or man that will appreciate you. Many times I read forums and blogs where men are suggesting for other men to switch up their dress and “fake it till you make it” in order to attract a girl or score a date. The same can be seen on web spaces where a nerdy girl complains for lack of dates due to men not being interested etc. The problem with this “fake it till you make it” advice is that while it does work, you may end up landing a fish from the wrong side of the pond.

Don’t Change Your Flavor – Improve Upon It!

The best thing to do if your crappy wardrobe and terrible social skills are keeping you dateless is to find a way to improve upon what it is you wear and do. If you are a guy that likes Rock bands and you’re really into that culture, then dressing like a slick yuppie with a trust-fund will not get you the Joan Jett clone that you were envisioning as your future wife. What it may get you is a perky, princess type, who outside of being pretty, is more about appearances and radio tunes than Tenacious D and your affinity for coffee.

When I see this happen, it normally forces the guy (who was desperate for any girl to love him) to conform and change into what the woman wants him to be. The woman recognizes that the guy she’s with isn’t exactly what he appeared to be when they were first going out and she feels cheated out of a beau with a Fortune 500 daddy. None of us men want to be in a relationship where our woman looks at us as a disappointing revelation. Sure, some men will say “doesn’t matter, we still had sex”, but for men looking for something more substantial – faking it is not the answer.

How do we improve our gear for dating?

One of the main things I try to tell my fellows is that you should look to your successful friends for pointers. Do you know of someone who has what you have but manages to bag 10 women where you can’t even make it past hello? Then shadow your homeboy for a time to see what it is he’s doing that makes him so damn appealing. Make sure it isn’t just physical looks – which I assure you is a very small part of the whole for women; a lame good-looking man will not score as much as a funny, ugly dude with some game. The friend you shadow should be into what you are into, he should be a member of your world. This way when you steal some of his mojo, you don’t become a lamb playing the part of a lion.

Pay attention to trends and what is going on around you! I know for the nerdy sub-culture this is the toughest thing in the world to do because it involves Hollywood, magazines and music videos but still, it never hurts to follow a trend (if it isn’t too crazy), for instance if you notice that Ed Hardy shirts are now considered the uniform of douchebags, why would you wear one? Get some feedback from your brutally honest peers and family members, if you’re as brazen as I am – go up to a female co-worker or stranger and ask her if the goatee is too much. Remember it’s not up to you, because, were it up to you, you wouldn’t need to change.

Change… but don’t change too much

One final note on change is that you want to take baby steps so that it becomes your natural occurrence. Human beings can evolve and learn new patterns if we open our minds to it, so you have to be willing to accept change. If you love tennis shoes but the women you like are of the hard-bottoms with slacks crowd, then you find a compromise. Look for shoes that may look dressy but are heavenly in comfort when you wear them. If you are used to showering every other day, then find a way to get it in once or twice a day within your schedule. It’s called compromise… with your love life.

Ultimately the choice to improve ourselves in the eyes of our suitors is up to us as individuals. We all accept that it will make a difference though, don’t we? Dating takes work, love takes work and relationships take a lot of work. So prep yourself for improvement my friend, but stay in your lane so that she loves you for you and not the false character that you’ve changed yourself into.

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