Guys (and gals), when you have a lover, girlfriend, wife, friend etc. you should always introduce them to people unless you are either embarrassed by them or asked to keep their identity a secret beforehand. When you run into friends and family without introducing the person that is with you it leaves room for a ton of speculation about him/her that you won’t like.
Before I get into this I must preface by saying that I know with many people it isn’t intended as a sign of disrespect or slight when they don’t introduce their mate to you. Sometimes we assume that the mate will introduce themselves or that you have already met the individual at one time or another. This article is just a reminder to everyone that assumptions is bred from perception and when you have someone silently standing next to you as we talk I liken it to the way you treat a child or even worse an escort.
If you don’t understand the speculation that goes on from outsiders when your wife doesn’t ever talk or get introduced, here are a few gems from you – I warn that most of these are bred from racial and sexual stereotypes that nobody likes.
“She’s just another chick he’s banging right now”
If you are a single guy who dates around and has different girls you take to your friend’s weddings, birthday parties and dinners, you have to introduce them or they will be seen as pieces of ass. This means that when you finally find a girl who sticks around she will think that your friends are assholes because they don’t ever bother to talk to her. Just introduce the girls anyway, it will make them feel special and for your friends they will not ever commit the names to memory since you have a new one every week. So as you can see, it’s a win/win to do the introductions for the future.
“Greg has a mail-order bride!”
Sadly unless you yourself are Asian you have to 150% introduce your Asian girlfriend or feel the pinch of people assuming that she’s either a foreigner (I know this is so bad), or that you have the stereotypical, kowtowing, speak when spoken to wife. The latter more than the former is damn near guaranteed when it’s older white man with Asian wife or girlfriend. Trust me, I have been around the people who say these things after ex-military co-worker and muted Korean American wife has left the party. Just introduce her, even if she is shy a smile and a nod is enough to dispel the gossip.
This will also occur if people know you went overseas and married your wife there regardless of her race and culture. I had a Muslim professor who was trice divorced to women that he would always get setup with in the Middle East and the rumors would fly like crazy about him either being a chauvinist who couldn’t “handle” American women or to him paying for his wives and then discarding them. Even if this were true, it would never come up that often if the wife was formally introduced to the gossipers.
Introducing a woman to your friends shows 2 things that you may not be aware of: It shows that you respect the person enough to want your friends to know who they are and that you are happy to have them with you. Leaving a woman behind you to only talk and interact with you in a room full of people turns her into your shadow, a familiar, a servant of sorts and someone who is unimportant in your life.
So please try to remember your introductions whenever you have casual get-togethers. It is paramount in keeping it classy that you make an introduction. Even the fictional hyper-masculine spy James Bond would introduce his beautiful Bond girls and they were only in his life for all of 2 sexual sessions. It’s the right thing to do, just do it.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.