Men have been pounding on women in relationships since…well forever? We are physically bigger, stronger, and we are bred to fight–despite what the well-behaved men blogs will tell you. This makes us extremely scary. Not just to women, but to other men as well. Have you ever been to jail or seen an episode of Lockup? A savage with no self-control and/or a temper can be a nightmare to anyone around them, let alone a weaker person trapped inside a car or house with them. On the flip-side, a woman that knows how powerless a battered man feels in our society (where we are told that we are bigger, stronger, and bred to be warriors), and takes advantage of him by being the abuser is just as frightening to have as a family member.
To make light of any of this is a well known slight that most of us avoid. Domestic violence is deadly and happens frequently, but society only notices when a case goes viral (more on this later). Shame does not fix it, social media lynch mobs does not fix it, and telling someone who is being beaten what you think they should do (while you sit comfortably in a position of hypothesis) has not fixed it. So the struggle continues. People are assholes, and some of those assholes use their fists, teeth and feet to get their point across. None of our op-eds, strategy articles, or “open letters” will change any of it. But it sure does make us feel smart writing them doesn’t it?
“Sometimes a NO COMMENT is the best answer for a man.”
Domestic violence is one of those issues that we have been trying to fix and bring awareness to for a really long time, but only rings important to people when it affects them personally, or when it affects a celebrity. Not since Rihanna’s face got plastered all over the internet–battered, bruised, and disfigured–did the majority of Twitter, blogs, and our cousin Jimbo on Facebook give any sort of care about it. Many of us think we have the answer, others just don’t think about it at all.
We all have selective memories, and whenever an opinion comes up that doesn’t reflect the hive mind’s cry for blood, the person is vilified, taken out of context, and made the target of a massive smear campaign. In the meantime, no battered woman or man benefits from it. A few opportunists write articles to call for the head of the newest target; blog commentaries explode with men saying that the fist swings both ways, and women countering them with stats about how it’s rare for men to be the victim of anything. Nobody benefits.
If anything, instead of awareness, viral DV incidents only serve as a reminder of the shame, the feeling of helplessness, and the embarrassment of being in one of these situations that has become the latest “thing” to rally behind on twitter accounts. It’s pretty sickening and none of us is surprised by it, but you know what? Let’s go ahead and get Stephen A. Smith fired. Let’s make that loud mouth pay for weighing in about domestic violence. Not because we disagree with his statements, but because we just don’t like him. That’s bound to help end domestic violence right?See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.