When I say it, I come off as some sort of punk looking for pity but take it from a mother of a boy, the world isn’t exactly a friendly place for a man these days. Too often we are reminded that we’re nothing but rapists, dead beat dads, and misogynists with little attention given to the fathers who stay home, the men who lead, and those who earn the title teacher. Men have become America’s villain…
As of late Jada Pinkett Smith has been on a crusade on her Facebook to get some answers for the war of the sexes. Touted as one of the only celebrities with a “perfect life” she has written on getting along with her step son’s mother, teaching her daughter how to be a strong, independent thinker, and loving her son so that he can become a man like his father is.
For the most part her dialogue has been addressed to the women but on Saturday March 9, 2013, she let the boys know that she understands:
Our Men Have Suffered Too by Jada Pinkett Smith
“I began to think about how our men suffer from oppression of various sorts and how this often leads to depression of various kinds. I thought about how our men suffer from the pressure to live up to the social standards of being strong, of being in control and filling the function as provider. What about the man who has no resources to provide? What about the pressures of having no resources which can lead a man to violence against others or even himself? What about the man who is taught that his ONLY value is to provide, and that it’s the amount of zeros in his pay check that quantify his worth and the amount of love he deserves? With this as the measurement of value, how can he put more importance or concentration on how he is actually RELATING to his woman and to his family? And what about all the feelings that come with these pressures… in a world where men are not allowed an outlet to express their fears, their concerns or vulnerabilities without risking being called a punk, a pussy or soft?
If our men are not allowed to explore their own emotional world, how can they possibly navigate through ours? And speaking about navigating through worlds, what are we to do with our beautiful, energetic, vibrant, curious, strong, out going and outspoken boys that doctors and “experts” label as ADHD challenged, who we are told won’t have a chance in this world without being medicated? And what do we say to the men who didn’t have fathers to raise them? The men who had only mothers to play both roles, which at times, left her to have to betray the codes of love, trust and sweetness between mother and son? What do we do with those betrayals left upon that resentful boy who thought his mother was too harsh and now he can’t help himself for taking it out on any woman close to him? What about the men who have suffered under the hand of abuse and neglect only to find himself a perpetrator of the same pain?
Have we ever stopped to think about how our men have suffered…
This is where new, bold, courageous, non traditional thinking and actions must have the upper hand to overcome ALL the SUFFERING that’s keeping us ALL apart in ALL forms of relating. WE GOTTA THINK NEW!”
Source: Jada Pinkett Smith
As a man I have to say that I really appreciate this. We need more wives of good men, girlfriends, mothers with sons, and sisters of positive brothers to balance things out for the boys who only see one side of their destiny.
I am a fan of Jada’s Facebook page for her candid anecdotes like this one; she’s quite the lady. So what do you think? Does Jada see the real, or is she just another blinded, traditionalist woman that is making excuses for men?