There is a common understanding amongst men that most guys have a flavor (type of woman) that they are predisposed to. While the lusting for extremely young, old or muscular women is seen as taboo and disturbing to a number of guys, having an exclusivity to a race really isn’t as abnormal as the media makes it out to be. I know white guys who have blonde fetishes, redhead fetishes, Asian fetishes and I use fetish to mean women they go nuts for just because they are within that pool. I know black men who have Latina fetishes, Russian accent fetishes and light-skinned, caramel bi-racial fetishes. I even know Asian men who have fetishes for blond girl-next-door types. These are all lusts that are seen as a big horrible, racial issue when it comes to relationship chats about race.
Embittered women will bemoan the constant of seeing white men with Asian women, or black men with fat blonds and how the pattern is based on stereotypes drilled into us by the media and the willingness or unwillingness of our parents/peers to accept our mate, praise our choice of mate, or disown us based on our mate. What gets lost in these discussions is the aspect of love and the oft chance that the white man with the Asian girlfriend may have met her in a class and the two hit it off based on similar interests. It’s a discussion and a stigma that has many couples looking at members of their own race as if they expect to be judged or in self-awareness that they fit a mold that is being scrutinized by just about everyone.
Here’s the honest truth about men and why this argument will always seem like a female driven argument to me. Men, as simple as we are, have very specific tastes. While we may mature out of certain fetishes, or move into others based on experiences. From what I have seen, lived and been around for three decades of life, most men I have encountered, myself included has some sort of fetish. What I mean is, you will be loathe to find a guy, who were you to line up 10 women of varying nationalities, skin color and hair color would not stay within a box of choices based on his flavor. Most guys can tell you “ya I have a thing for —- girls”, and it is something we easily share with other males. It is understood among ourselves that having a flavor, a type, a fetish is normal. So to see some of these guys on blogs going on and on about how much they hate guys with fetishes etc. etc., it can seem a bit hypocritical.
As men we do need to check ourselves on the aspect of fetishizing race though. This is a huge problem based on misunderstanding and I wrote this article to make this 100% clear with you fellas. While it is quite fine to come up to me and say “hey, I am sooo looking for a —- chick to marry”, it is not cool to take what you assume is the opposite color of said chick, and diss the living sh-t out of the entire race. Even if that race is your own, see that right there is the problem. If you love redheads, then more power to you, I don’t need to know that all Blonds are boring and slutty in order for you to convince me that redheads are hot. That right there is ignorant and is not the way of a gentleman.
Keep the fetish chatter amongst the boys, hell most of us know what you like anyway based on patterns, but keep the dissing to yourself. Do not go on message boards bemoaning guys fetishizing — girls just because you don’t, because it makes you a hypocrite, a hater and a breaker of the Man code. Stay classy fellas, women are beautiful period and there is a flavor for everyone within the freezer. Keep it quiet about your race fetishes and love the women, don’t hate on them.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.