There will always be people around us to uplift us as well as tear us down and it may come as a surprise to us. Family members that we assume will have our backs will become jealous, overly judgmental and extremely negative. The troll on your Facebook that you have as a political sparring partner may end up being your best ally when it comes to your goals and aspirations in life. Positive people are a breath of fresh air, and they show up in the strangest places. Negative people come in many forms and they strike when we least expect it.
A lot of people who mean well will play devil’s advocate at times when we need their support and will kill our spirits with their opinion. Oft times this opinion comes from a place of fear because they would not be willing to the things that you are doing and so their reaction is a reflection of who they are. Negative people do not always aim to be negative but it is hard for them to realize their actions. Normally these negative people are the ones who hold us back from things that could potentially help our career; they are the ones who have to say “I told you so” and they are the ones who find the darkest outcome to any situation.
Negative people endlessly flame on message boards and comments and are a plague on every news site. Find me an article about a man doing good by the mother of his child and in the comments there will be a bitter woman or beta-max saying that what he’s doing isn’t enough. The same attitude comes about when you’re with friends and friends of friends and the one dark cloud chimes in on a conversation and makes the rest of the crew want to call a timeout.
So why do people do it?
It’s easy to be a sour puss looking for pity. I have argued that in the modern age it is the popular mindset of people that aren’t as successful as they want to be. Everyone has an excuse and everyone has a good reason why you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing. When I set out to write my first book Anstractor, I kept it very quiet out of concern that people would try to convince me that I didn’t have the time, or the means to write a novel. Once it was published and available for sale, I was able to foster all the positive support and the negativity was resolved to those who would buy the book in order to pick it apart. I strategically kept myself above the hateful fray.
Anticipating the negative has become an important part of my growth in the things that I do personally and professionally and I would urge you all reading to do the same. Realize that many people look at your accolades as a competitive thing and will not have the ability to put their personal issues to the side in order to issue you congratulations. You do not have to tolerate this from anyone, but instead of completely cutting them out of your life, you can make yourself prepared for anything they have to say.
Hateful people taint your aura and dampen your perspective. You may have to remove them from your life–if they affect you heavily, tune them out, or just stop talking to them. This may seem a bit extreme but we all need to stop encouraging this behavior. When a friend says something negative about things that you are trying to do, just keep it moving as if they never spoke. It works wonders and will serve as a good shield from him/her affecting your work.
Don’t let people get you down because success is not a popularity contest, it is a path that is best traversed with extreme tunnel vision.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.