As of recent, I’m finding myself in a new relationship. It’s in that early phase where you’re still getting to know each other, but you’re fairly confident it will last a while. You don’t call each other boyfriend/girlfriend etc, but you act like it. While I’m going to try and leave out some of the personal details, I figured I’d set the pretext for this article by letting you know where I’m at in the scheme of things.
Most people who are still single are wondering when they’ll find that special someone. What the general populace is waiting for is someone to come along and “sweep them off their feet”. Obviously we’re talking about having that “special” feeling. You want to feel all tingly and sparkly and magically head-over-heels in love. Many people have experienced that before, but somehow it didn’t last. This is where everyone needs to realize there are different types of love.
Generally you’re going to feel that sweet, tingly sensation when you start dating someone you’ve known for a while. Maybe a chick who was in a relationship, you were friends for a while, then she broke up and you got together. Hell, maybe you were enemies to an extent then somehow it just flipped into romance. Whatever the case may be, it’s the people you’ve known a while (and perhaps fantasized about) that will give you this feeling. There’s nothing wrong with it, and these relationships can work as well as any other, but this is usually the scenario you’ll find it in.
The main reason I’m writing this is for the rest of us. This is for the crowd that’s meeting new people, going on blind dates, and doing online dating. You’re NOT going to get that special feeling. I don’t mean to be an absolutist, but these kind of dating scenarios usually make you self-conscious, nervous, and you’re looking for red-flag items during the conversation. To be blunt, you’d have to be naive to walk into a blind date scenario wide-eyed and ready to love on sight. At the end of your date, when you don’t feel that “spark”, don’t be disheartened by it. Expect it.
Ask yourself a few questions when you get home after meeting someone.
- Did they seem interesting?
- Were there any major red flags?
- Do they meet the standards I’m looking for?
If the answers were yes no yes respectively, then try a second date. Things will be slightly less awkward, you’ll feel slightly more confident, and you’ll be able to have better conversation. If it’s a solid connection, you’ll be able to build up to a loving relationship. It’s not going to be a firecracker explosion kind of feeling. It will be a quiet snowballing feeling. You’ll enjoy a growing understanding and affection that will blossom into something just as worthwhile as the romance novel love stories we think are the ticket to a blissful relationship.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.