In the Gym today I ran into my good friend Brian and exchanged the usually pleasantries that we normally did “how are you, how is your family” etc. etc. and I was shocked when he answered negatively to the family portion by saying that he no longer talks to half of them. This was quite disheartening since I know his family… but before he could tell me the reason I knew what it was already. Brian is an entrepreneur who always did odd jobs whilst balancing his business in order to keep the money flowing north. He was suffering from an ailment that many people go through but keep quiet about. Talk to any guy with money and he has a story about a friend, loved one or family member who has started dissing him over money. When we are raised with the monicker “money is the root of all evil” floating over your head, is it any wonder that people hate on you when you’re doing fine?
Everybody loves to pat you on the back when you’re down but when you’re up they get mad at you. And yes I know that is a general statement but I am referring specifically to the people who engage in this activity. Sometimes people do not realize that they are doing this, they are being mean and not knowing it. With money comes a lack of understanding and speculation. It’s the same thing that happens when you are a young black guy who drives nice cars and has lots of company during the week, your nosy neighbors will immediately assume foul. Your good intentions are oft times misunderstood or spun a completely different way than the way you meant it. Lets view some examples:
You take some friends to Vegas all expenses paid
Your thoughts: I just want us all to have a good time without worrying about money.
Their thoughts: Damn he has it like THAT!? This is like a mortgage he gave me to spend.
You pick up the tab at a huge gathering of friends and family
Your thoughts: Everyone had such a good time and the meal was expensive, I don’t mind.
Their thoughts: I didn’t ask him to do that, why does he have to flash his money like that.
Dragon’s note: This is especially important to avoid doing when women are involved. Nothing cuts a guys balls off faster than some handsome young schmuck paying for yours and her meal. Just don’t do it.
As you can see well meaning intentions can and will be spun as an attempt by you to show-off. Another problem that arises is the friends, brothers, uncles, cousins and even fathers with no boundary issues will want to get into your money via loans or plain old begging. One NBA player explained that the reason why he would never loan money to friends or family is because it emasculates them in a sense (assuming they are male). I can understand his feelings, you loan someone $10k what’s to stop them from coming back every month for the same amount? Then there is the fact that they are now “in your pocket”. It’s not a position you want to place someone who you love, gifts are gifts but loans can lead to bad feelings.
Here’s the thing, if and when I get into money the only persons that will know are me, myself and I. This is unrealistic yes but that’s the level of privacy I intend to keep with it to avoid the stress and craftiness that accompanies the almighty dollar. Have you had an experience with money that made you the hater or the hated?See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.