Jul 29

Having been around the block and back several times over I have had the pleasure of feeling booties from the bony flats all the way to the table-top stacked. Booties are booties, it’s cold on approach and warm to the touch (you feel me?) but it was only recently that I experienced an artificially enhanced booty…

A little background: As a man that has encountered real breasts as well as silicone and saline versions I can solidly say that nature wins out in that contest all day, every day. I had one experience so scarring (they were lumpy) that I became hardcore about my anti-fake boob stance to where I can proudly proclaim that I would take a natural pair of A’s over a false set of D’s any day. Many men share my stance in this… but back to the booty.

Recently I took a trip to the Penthouse Nightclub in Tampa Florida and had the pleasure of getting a dance from what I considered to be a Kim Kardashian clone. Unlike Kim however, if this beauty took an X-Ray of her posterior – the results would not come back o-nat-u-ral. No, baby girl put some dollars where her ass was (you feel me?) Like fake breasts the enhancement was a marvel to behold but I wondered… would it be dreadful to the touch?

I thought about the booty being hard, like some over-inflated basketballs sitting on my lap holding up that 140 lbs of sexy. Would I feel a noticeable crease like the separation you see when fake boob girl leans over? Would it… suck? Curious, I called her over and bought her a drink… her waist was damn near nonexistent… honey was video vixen flawless!

“What sort of witchcraft goes into those butt injections?”

Soon as the song goes off on the air, she pushed me down and mounted me, it was showtime and all of my skepticism flew out the door. What in the hell… the booty felt like, how can I explain it… pillows!?

She was so soft for having such a solid frame, it was ass perfection if ever there was such a thing. I reached down and touched them, they melted to the touch, I could fill a bed full of those butt cheeks and sleep like a boulder every night.

What sort of witchcraft goes into these butt injections? Can someone out there explain the softness? The woman was a dime but I couldn’t get off the booty, I’ve never been an ass man but she knighted me one right there. What an ass, what a revelation!

In the past I would hear about all of these implants and judge harshly based off of ignorance. Calf implants, butt implants, pec implants, you work out long enough you will run into people who have done em all. My harsh experience with lumpy breasts did not prepare me for Miss Soft Booty and although I still love a nice, well sculpted gym rump, you will never hear me talk down on a little doctor assisted donk ever again.

Boys I am telling you, don’t knock it till you smack it and the next time you go Strip Club hounding, remember what you read here.

Now before I close and you go throwing old Pro to the dogs – just remember, the booty doesn’t make the lady, but I’ll be damn if it doesn’t put her over! Somebody tell me what they have in those booties so that I can get some pillows made up!

Editor’s Note: The first image is borrowed from bootypillows.com to illustrate a point.

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