Ladies and Gentlemen let us have a serious talk about relationships and what they mean to us. I only ask that you read this article in its entirety before commenting because the title does not necessarily reflect all of the opinions within. That being said, I have to ask – how many of you are in relationships where your mate’s salary makes you feel the need to do better in order to compete with them? See where I’m going with this? Okay let’s rap a taste.
I read so many articles where the writer—the token college-educated, semi-successful but hopelessly single blogger—laments the shortage of men who want a woman that will “challenge” them ambitiously. What this reads to me is that the woman comes into the relationship expecting that the man will do his best to make sure than he is the breadwinner. Here we stumble upon one of those paradoxical stances in feminist logic because it leans on the assumption that all men care about our financial position.
While I am one of the most hardcore advocates of ambition in people, I would think that a relationship would be one of “support” versus a “challenge”. We go out into the workforce, work for peanuts, grind for raises, and all sorts of other stressful, life-shortening things, expecting to come home to what I would assume is sanctuary.
If I come home to someone that is dissatisfied with the position that I have striven for in my career because it doesn’t make as much as she does, this does not “challenge” me, it makes her an asshole. This is my opinion on the matter, especially as a hustler. When I am out in the trenches, my peers, my heroes, and those who are in this thing of mine is my “challenge” to do better. When I go home to my girl, no matter how much she’s making I am looking for support – I support what she does, she in turn returns the favor.
It Might Be An Alpha Male Thing
While I am coming at this from the standpoint of a very ambitious, beast-mode, workaholic, our friend Cadillac Collins disagrees. When asked if a woman “challenging” a man is something desirable, he surprised me with a yes.
“I agree completely. A true alpha welcomes a challenge for the opportunity to step up in life. If you’re going to invest time, money and effort into a woman, you should consider yourself lucky if she can motivate you to grow.”
This made me take a step back – of course it made perfect sense BUT he said that the woman “motivates us to grow” which doesn’t always mean making more money and expecting us to keep up. Motivation comes in an abundance of different ways; some get motivated by love and support while some get motivated by being left behind. But he said “alpha”, as in the leaders of the male race; he didn’t say every man, or the “regular” man, he said alphas. This makes a lot of sense.
What do you think about this whole “challenge” business when it comes to your mate? I firmly believe that if you put 2 alpha-types together who are about their money, they would easily fall into their respective roles if it means capital gain at the end of the day. “Honey you stay home with the kids and mind our online store while I work nights at the job to bolster our disposable income.” See what I did there? That is how compromise, support, and teamwork occur; this is a relationship.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.