Aug 10

It was a saturday afternoon when I went to go meet a cute chick in town for our 2nd date after chasing her down for a week (she had it going on so I was intent on closing the deal). On my way to the spot I called her and received no answer, I thought “okay, I just spoke with her 20 minutes ago so obviously she’s in her car, I’ll text her when I get there”. Arriving at the place some 15 minutes later, I was 5 minutes early for our date so I sat, chilled for a bit and got some water. 15 minutes later after texting her and getting no response, I figured that I was stood up so I chalked it up to the game, waited another 10 minutes and then ordered lunch.

Not 3 minutes after ordering my lunch, in walks this bird looking happy as a pig in slop… apparently she had stopped next door to buy trinkets without feeling she had to return my call or texts. Instantly her happiness turned to anger as she exclaimed “OH MY GOD YOU ORDERED ALREADY!?” By this time I was done so I sent her on her merry way and killed my meal. This was my first brush with women and the ordering food issue. I guess this chick thought she was worth the wait.

The second time that the point was driven home was when I prepared dinner for my girlfriend and she decided to show up an hour late, I was on the phone with her but I was hungry and thinking that I had cook’s privilege – y’know… You cooked it so you can pop a sample or two in your mouth. Well I was hungry, and with it going on an hour I thought “well she’s my girl, late as hell, and I’m starving so why not?” Well she came in mad as a hornet over me eating which at the time was confusing.

Just grab a snack or leave

Now whenever I get into that situation where I am waiting on a late date, hungry as hell and in pain… I get a cup of soup. It took me a few negatives to get it into my thick head that women are different from men when it comes to the “eating before me thing” but I totally get it now. Still ladies… Think about it… Kinda silly isn’t it? I mean, you’re late as hell, barely apologize then take 10 minutes to decide what you want to eat. I mean throw us a bone over here, in my world that’s bird activity. (Throws hands up and walks away to negate the backlash). Seriously though, is it really that serious?

Oh well, its serious fellas, don’t make the mistakes that I have and put your stomach in front of your patience. Next time just tell her that the date is 30 minutes prior to the actual time. Can you imagine her waiting for your late ass on a date? Of course not, she wouldn’t deal with it, so why do we!? Fine, whatever, I’ll take a cup of your “Italian Wedding” soup and a shot of vodka while I wait please.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Rachelle

    This is RIDICULOUS! you don’t have to wait if they are so late and you are hungry. these women are crazy

  • nia syrah

    I think in your examples..yes both women are wrong. Your date was late so you ordered and your girl was late so you nibbled.. With that said , there is a possibility that even though they were wrong, they were right in their line of thinking… If you make a plan where the expectation is to “share” a meal, then you eating before hand does not constitute sharing..
    there is also the issue of unbalanced eating.. Who wants to sit there and eat while the other person is just staring at you? It puts a weird pressure on you to hurry up and be done..
    bottom line..when random date chick is late, yea go ahead and order. But if your girl is late, that’s your girl…suck it up and grab an apple to tide you over.