There is always an explanation as to why one is single (no time, demanding job, just plain old don’t want a relationship, etc), but for some reason, it’s unacceptable for pretty “nice girls”, who seem to have it going on, to not have a man in their life that they do not call “daddy”. As one of the many nice girls who have been ate up and spit out by past mistakes, I wanted to take time to give some insight as to why some women, very pretty ones at that, tend to be at the wrong end of that oh so dreaded “You are such a great person, why are you single?!?”.
Nice girls more than likely have a hidden insecurity that stems from their childhood.
Understand that pretty girls who are “nice” usually have some sort of past middle/high school hurt that separated them from the “mean” girls at school who were hot, knew it, and got any guy they wanted. She doesn’t know her worth so in a dark twisted (and sometimes psychotic) way, the good guy is intimidating to her psyche. It’s easier to swallow the pain of a jerk not wanting to be with her than a good guy not wanting to be with her. These insecurities create a cycle of rejection from losers which weighs on her self-worth even more because “even losers don’t want” her. This low self esteem creeps into their adulthood and usually ruins any chance of a healthy relationship until the past hurt is acknowledged and dealt with. Until that happens, they will subconsciously choose men who they know are going to hurt them.
Nice girls just want to be loved.
Why is this a bad thing, you ask? Because it makes nice girls tend to have lower standards than they deserve. Nice girls appreciate the love more than any chick that knows she can have any guy she wants. Ever notice how far compliments can go with a nice girl vs. that other chick? Small gestures mean the world to nice girls because they are not used to it and this is the “in” that scrubs need to gain ground with her. And once he gives her the world she is his forever. You know the type – pretty girl with the scrub and you constantly ask yourself “why is she with that guy??” or “She can do so much better” or (my favorite) “Why is he always dropping her off at work in HER car??”. Because he probably noticed her insecurity, used it to his advantage, and she genuinely doesn’t feel like she can do any better. Bottom line – she just doesn’t see what you see.
Nice girls tend to spend most of the prime of their dating life doing the right things for the wrong guy. This issue is due to a combination of the above two points. She is so insecure that she deals with his treatment because she sees it as a reflection on herself and not as a reflection of his character. I know a lot of beautiful women who are constantly down in the dumps over something a jackass said or did to her. Wondering why he doesn’t love her or what the other woman has that she doesn’t. Trying to figure out what to do for him (which usually comes down to sex or money) so he will like her more and come back. These ladies need to wake up!! Sounds like a no-brainer to me, but you would be amazed at how many women will go through hell and high water just to be deemed “worthy” in a man’s eyes when it’s their own eyes that need correction.
Nice girls have a history of overdoing it, so they can be smothering at times. Because nice girls are used to doing everything and anything to hold onto their man, when she actually finds a good guy, she has trouble breaking herself out of old habits. She has to constantly remind herself that good guy is not out to get her, good guy doesn’t have to be persuaded to stay, and good guy doesn’t need to be bought. Not to say that nice girls shouldn’t have good hearts and do for their man, it’s just to say that she needs to pay more attention to whether or not that man is deserving of the side of her that will shower him with love.
Now before all the nice chicks get their panties all in a bundle, this is a general assessment and does not encompass all levels of “nice girl”, just the most extreme cases. I do know plenty beautiful nice girls who are passed their issues but who are still single because they are being selective in who is deemed worthy to see the side of her that treats him like a king. She isn’t settling for the creep who is willing to shell out a few compliments. This chick is actually a hot commodity, as she is much more down to earth and humble about her worth. She knows she is beautiful inside and out, but will not take it for granted, and she is more than ready to share her beauty with another.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.