Jun 22

man complaining to his wife

Do not bring me a complaint without having a solution to go along with it. Do NOT bring me a complaint without having a solution to go along with it.

Repeat this to yourself, your staff, and the people in your life that have shown signs of that disease called woebeme. Stop whining, stop whinging, be solution-oriented, nobody cares. Harsh? Of course it is. Necessary? Yeah, if you want to be a successful person.

The spirit of innovation starts with finding solutions for complex problems. It’s from that essence that entrepreneurship is born. It glows bright, energizes you, and even if you’re on the chain gang of a Corporate company, others will see it. You become an answer-man, as opposed to a complainer.

Nobody likes a complainer

Is it me, or does it seem like our sex comes into play with the way we view complainers? As men, when a woman complains we blow it off as “nagging”; we sap the power from it, we reduce her to the company of slight pains, insects, and slight headaches. But for men on the other hand we take hard offense to complaints. We mentally emasculate them, like, “what the hell is going on? Men don’t complain”

A man doesn’t complain, a man fixes!

Get your wrench old boy and tighten that bolt! You can’t nag me, be a man, find a solution and shut the hell up about it.Some tough guy, somewhere

When we hear men complaining it falls into that realm of unmanly, the opposite of macho … its the kryptonite of testosterone; it’s strawberry scented lotion. No man wants to hear another man complain. Trust me on this one. We may entertain it because we have to, but deep down we’re like “dude, shut the f… up”, you get my drift? But, but, but wait it gets worse!

WOMEN seriously, seriously DO NOT want to hear us complain either. If you want to know why, look at what I wrote above. Society decrees that a man provides, a man is strong, and a man fixes … he doesn’t complain. But the irony in all of this is that we DO complain, we complain A LOT – to our women. Think about it.

“How was your day at work today, babe?” How do you answer this after a tough one?

Humphrey Bogart would probably say “I’ve had better,” then move on to talking about something that makes his woman laugh. James Gandolfini would shrug it off and say “what’re you gonna do?”, but most of us will take it as an opening to run out the daily whine about how we hate our boss, how we hate life, and how we could’ve been a contender…

This is why it is essential to make your own solution(s) for the things that are less than perfect for you. The solution may not be an immediate fix, but it needs to be moving towards a fix.

Find a solution!

One thing I see a lot of nowadays in terms of complaining is people seeking out other complainers in order to build a community. Online Whine Clubs, I kid you not. There are whole blogs, forums, and social media groups going strong in the spirit of the complaint. Let’s take a moment of silence to ponder this reality for a bit.

* * *

Just kidding, let us not complain about the complainers, this article is supposed to be a solution! We all complain, it’s human nature, but what we should try to work on is to remove the complaints through action. This goes for men AND women, I don’t care if you’re whining or nagging, you should present an out.

If you adopt this philosophy in your every day life, I guarantee that your outlook will be that much brighter and more rewarding.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Dr. Carly

    Hi Dragon,
    You are sooooo on point. These days it seems to many of us that it takes less energy to complain, whine, cast blame, and duck from responsibility and accountability. A complainer typically is not seeking solutions. It is a way to suck the energy from the listener, and it becomes like any other chronic addictive behavior. Its all about the “me” in those situations; and aside from those who truly just love to hear his or herself talk, I find that many cannot help themselves. We always know who they are — hello!

    Firstly, you cannot solve issues with the mindset that created the issues to begin with. So, if this person does not “step” out of their situation and to objectively do an autopsy of why they are where they are, it is just as easy to complain and not act at all or make the necessary change to change your situation. Change in this case is painful.

    Secondly, there are those of us that just like to straddle the fence of indecision. You are miserable on a job, in a relationship, with your finances, with your groupie – whatever, but you just sit there – afraid to make a move – because it might be the wrong move. Really???

    When you (think) you can’t make the right decision, make the damn decision (you finally make) right and quit whining!!!