Apr 20

There’s nothing like a real hug, I mean this from men and women, a real hug conveys so much language to you it bypasses any well written letters, any speeches and any other gestures. A real hug breaks down your defenses, it’s hard to defend if you are trying to be cold, and it either endears a person to you or makes you afraid of them. If you’ve ever felt a real hug, you will know exactly what I’m talking about.

Giving a real hug isn’t some thing people do as a way to manipulate, console or appease you. From what I’ve seen, it’s an art that is mastered to the point that anyone you hug can and will instantly be affected. Many of us hold the ability to do it but we wouldn’t, not in a million years, it’s just too vulnerable, too intimate, too warm. Think about it, a hug starts with the opening of one’s arms leaving the heart and stomach exposed to the world. These are our most vital organs, if we open them to a world that has proven itself to be cruel, no telling what could happen to us right? Some of us are worried about offending, what if we lock it in too long – for a man he’ll think me gay, for a woman she’ll think i’m being fresh. We go into hugs with our own issues fighting it from being real. The results are half-assed, sloppy and impersonal gestures which are more to comply with what we’re supposed to do versus being real.

I’m guessing it’s because the world’s stigmas have worn down to being too trifle for them to care about and they can hug you with genuine love without any barriers. Imagine if every hug felt like the one your grandmother gives you when she sees you for the first time in a year. My own grandmother has passed but I never forgot her hugs, that’s how impactful a real hug is.

Hugging Men as a Man (The Bear Hug)

This topic hits home with me because I have made it a habit to give real hugs whenever I can. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no care bear running around hugging people, but for me and mines – if we hug, you’re gonna feel 1 of 2 things: safe, or supported. If it’s on some false tip that we’re hugging then give me a pound (I hate shaking hands, it’s disgusting), a fist bump or something, stay out of my aura. My stepfather used to give real hugs, he taught me how to hug a man the right way – shake the hand and bring it in powerful-like, lock him up for 1.5 seconds then let him loose. If you haven’t been greeted in that tradition then you haven’t had a real man-hug. The hug makes for your left hand and chest to be together, while the clasped right hand from the shake (or dap) keeps the space enough so that you’re not touching certain parts. The man-hug is a beautiful thing, it’s aggressive enough to stay macho and warm enough to remain sincere.

The Art of Embracing a Woman

Hugging women for a men is a bit less complicated, what I try to do is to embrace versus hugging. I drop the defenses, get in deep and strong then the level of comfort determines for how long. Family, girlfriends, wives etc. get 3 seconds or more and strangers get the 1.5 just like men. I am a big guy so I don’t lock em into a vice, but my hugs are powerful because it shows that I am there. This is why I don’t hug strangers unless I have to, my hugs are always real and I don’t need randome women falling in love with me – I kid, I kid, calm down.

So when’s the last time you felt a real hug? Does someone instantly come to mind based on this topic, or are you the one thsat’s blessing people through your embrace? Do you disagree on the impact of a real hug, am I just a sentimental guy? Lemme know what you think.

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