When a woman cheats on a man it can be just as devastating as when a man cheats on a woman… maybe even worse. It’s embarrassing, it makes you feel inadequate, helpless, devastated. It brings emotion to a party where it has never been invited and to tell you the truth – most men are not prepared for it.
Recently I saw a man get the death penalty here in Florida for walking in on his cheating wife, then getting his pistol and executing them both in cold blood (they were begging and pleading). In the courtroom he was stoic, calm and seemed to be at peace with his fate. He did what many men talk about doing when among their brethren if ever they were to catch their lover with another man.
One unforgettable case I saw dealt with a man whose wife drained him to the point of suicide through emasculation and infidelity. His wife was a full-time student at a local college while he worked 2 jobs along with taking care of their son (she was a drunk). She drank and started sleeping with one of her fellow students inside the house and on the same bed that she shared with her husband. When she tried to run off with this young man the husband shot and killed him with a hunting rifle and she went into hiding soon after.
This case was memorable because the man’s touching testimony and the evidence of a wicked woman driving him to the point of murder ended in him seeing only 3 years prison time.
Men are rarely afforded the same sympathy as women when it comes to infidelity. We are supposed to take it on the chin; move on and find someone else; be happy that she found her true love since the relationships was on the rocks anyway. It almost seems as if the only time a man receives any sympathy is when the woman is disliked by many. Would this change if women knew how devastating it is for a man?
Taking It on the Chin
As men we are forbidden from crying over a cheating woman because other men will see it as weak. The men who are applauded for the way they handle the situation will have either thrown the woman out with extreme prejudice; put a bullet into her or her beau; or my personal favorite – take out his frustration by sleeping with her desperate best friend, mother or twin sister.
There are no crying sessions to “let the hurt out”, or couples therapy to talk about it. Remember the word humiliation? No man wants the world to know he wasn’t man enough to keep a woman from sleeping around. It reminds me of this wonderful verse from Ghostface Killa on the song Never Be The Same Again:
I came home on Friday, Saturday I found out / That night I cried with the kids, I was out
And my man, I’ma do him in / And Lord knows best what I’ma do to him
And you can keep the crib – all I’m sayin is, let me find out you got men around my kids
Right there, Ghost in a single verse shows the emotions of a devastated man; from crying with his children over their mother’s infidelity to thinking about killing the man she was cheating with and maybe do worse to her if she brought him around his children. See the heart can be patched up but the humiliation and the damage to family that occurs with cheating can lead to some very violent circumstances.
The bottom line is this folks, we laugh and jeer men who “get their girls taken” but the damage that it does is irreparable. I have always stated that a cheating woman is what births a Wolf because a man will forever hate women (in general) for it. Some guys never get over it no matter how wonderful their current woman is.
So let’s extend a little courtesy to the victims of infidelity shall we? Male or female it is not something you can just “get over” if you are in love with your significant other. It may look like men lack emotion and are unable to feel hurt over your cheating but you may not like the “emotion” that comes from it when he decides to act. It’s an emotion that starts with the letter H and it is an ugly word that can lead to some extremely deadly circumstances.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.