Mar 29

Two situations come to mind when I think of this stupid word chivalry that women like to throw around so much. One occurred at a sports bar where a loud obnoxious chick was clearly cheering for the rival team and decided it was wise to get in the local men’s faces and incite a fight. The problem however was that she only had her boyfriend there to fall back on, so you know what happened? They beat his ass until the police came. The other situation is less violent and occurred when I was in college. The transition happened through my buddy Brian who used to open doors for women (because he was a good dude and was raised to be a gentleman). After a semester or so Brian and I started to notice that the ungrateful women of our university neither thanked nor acknowledged us whenever we did this and it started to become something they expected – so naturally we rebelled. Ironically the same types are on blogs this very day complaining about men losing their chivalrous nature.

It’s been said before but chivalry died because women killed it. While you as a woman may be a courteous, thankful and nice person, the fact of the matter is that there is a whole horde of others out there that either get men in trouble with other men or make their particular man feel stupid for extending a hand in different scenarios. Feminism also complicates things where a man looking out for a woman is frowned upon as being misogynistic being that the same man would not look out for a weaker man in the same way. Many women dislike feminism (at least the newer form of the word), because men look at the word as a very negative and anti-male reality which in its stance does not warrant or deserve chivalry – this is how men see it.

The White Knight aka Richard Gere aka Captain Save-A-Ho

On the Internet the term White Knight was coined to make fun of the guys that would defend women who get in arguments on blogs, forums, or photo sites.

A white knight is a man that rushes to the aid of a woman simply because he views all women in trouble as damsels in distress. White knights typically do not look into the situation, they hardly judge whether the woman is at fault, but instead rush in blindly hoping to scoop her up, whisk her away into the night and become her hero. White knights can also be seen in all walks of life outside of the Internet where a man takes it upon himself to defend a woman without knowing the situation beforehand. White Knighting is dangerous but that doesn’t stop women from asking men to become one whenever they deem it convenient.

Naïve Young Women and Convenient Chivalry

One interesting article that I read on had a young girl asking for a White Knight (or should I say black White Knight) to come to her rescue from frat boys at their own frat party. Let that one sink in for second; she then goes on to equate her situation to actual violence that has happened to women. In my male mind I cannot fathom how someone making a nasty remark at a party is akin to someone punching her in the face, but in this girl’s mind somehow it parallels. If you read the commentary there are many, many good points made – especially by BlackChild who points out that convenient chivalry is not chivalry. The article is basically more young girls’ ignorance as to what the role of a man is.

Here are a few gems:

“we took off the capes when yall took off the apron.”blackchild

“Say one woman is disrespected at the party how powerful would it have been if her “sisters” had her back and all the women left the party? But that concept or the concept of women do anything never crosses the minds of women when there are burdens and expectations that can be placed on a man. The next week word gets around that the Tri-Lambs are assholes and pariahs and are not to be dated. I guarantee you within a week or two systemic changes would be made within that organization.”blackchild

His point and ultimately our point is that a bit of self-reliance is expected beyond some White Knight riding in on his chariot to save you from the mean frat boys. Sure a few idealistic men still carry on like it’s the 1940s and wives are confined to the house and they are left to defend their honor in every situation but the majority of men have moved well past that. If you need a white knight then look to your husband, boyfriend, brothers, or father and don’t expect a stranger to rush to your rescue. You can blame it on the harpies that weren’t thanking man for opening the doors for them in the past and the token idiot at a sports bar starting fights. Men have learned that being chivalrous means being an idiot, especially when most women are ungrateful and expecting of our favor.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Ok. Now, listen. Chivalrous is NOT Richard Save-a-Ho Gere. Although, if I was gonna be a ho, I’d wanna be saved by the likes of Him. He’s a Buddhist. Chivalrous is Antonio “Take the Lead” Banderas.” He’s exhilarating and enormously entertainingly sexy and has a WHOLE LOT OF CAPTAIN IN HIM.. & his dialect is Castilian. AND he looks damned good in a white shirt! Get my point?

    I would suggest that if you want to avoid the expectation of chivalry, stop hanging out with or near, and observing “chicks.” And tell the college bound to choose their campus of higher learning with their brains not their heads. Although…. young guys prolly wouldn’t be able to do that either.. as their brains/frontal lobes aren’t fully developed until they are 25. So.. thinking with their heads is to be expected. And so it is.. they get what they get. The chicks and hos experience. And by the way, vagina does not a feminine make. NOTE: I didn’t say feminist.

    Also.. Chivalry is not an on demand trait. One booty call or sext message equals 1 door opening. It’s self imposed, by design of the one possessing it. Extended… Offered.. without resentment.. whether it’s deserved or not. Who are you to judge? Just be a man! I’ll offend someone with this next statement.. I truly appreciate and expect it — the offered up courtesy of the gentle man variety.. especially of the anglo persuasion. Sorry my brothahs, but ya’ll just seem to watch too much MTV & BET & ESPN or Spike TV or somethin. Please.. Open my doors, escort, lead, protect. Even if you don’t know better. Do that first. Ask questions later. It’s a virtue that is honored and protected by the Universe. That’s what I’m teaching my 17 year old to look out for — and use her God Given Sense of Discernment – as she is college bound in a few months. For there’s also the PRETENTIOUS chivalrous-looking- sounding brothah of every color, with ulterior motives.. creator of the pain & drama that’s designed for the colored girls who have considered suicide when rainbows are enough.


    Carry on!

  • JustMyThoughts

    Sorry, but sounds like excuses. I’m not asking you to lay your coat in a puddle of water for me, or punch the guy that calls me out my name b/c I rejected him, just be a man, please. You can still exercise good judgment and be chivalrous. If I forget to smile at you or swoon over you for holding my door open, its not b/c im not appreciative, its just b/c i may possibly have something else on my mind. I think women naturally gravitate toward nurturing and men toward protecting. Neither one of these acts has to be commended or acknowledged each time. So lets not look at it as a good deed, lets look at it to be expected, once you make peace that’s its okay to be a man, this inner conflict will not exist.
    SN: there is something so simplistically sexy about a man who treats ALL women with the same respect.

  • I’ve never bought into the notion of chivalry in the first place because it’s a bourgeois and ruling class concept imposed on those not within the bourgeoisie and ruling class to make men conform to certain established codes of honor. Therefore, if chivalry is dead, then that’s a good thing because it means one aspect of bourgeois ideology has died. Men and women need to show one another more gratitude. If a man opens the door for a woman, common courtesy should lead her to tell him thank you. It’s not a man’s duty to open a door for you, so thank him.

    I don’t think men should just stop opening doors for women because some women seem to think they are supposed to do this out of duty. It’s a natural part of who I am to open doors for women out of simple common courtesy. It would be nice for all women to show gratitude to me when I do this, but they don’t. However, it’s not about them–it’s about what kind of person I have resolved to be. I will continue to do me, even when gratitude is not shown for the courteous and good things I do for people. Good article!

  • Pingback: Of White Knights, Chivalry and Feminism « From Ashy to Classy()

  • Pingback: When Losers Comment On Pretty Girl Photos | From Ashy to Classy()

  • Kevin Hutchins

    I hate the white knight types, they are often more of a problem than actual feminists!

2 pingbacks/trackbacks