Oct 11

Women and men go into relationships for different reasons, for the men it may be the prospect of getting some all the time versus sporadically, and for the women it may be a roll of the die towards marriage. It could even be vice versa, we can’t paint a broad stroke over entire genders without giving attention to the exceptions – it’s just not fair. So you get into a relationship for whatever reason and you begin to get the questions from prying friends about the status. You may be wondering yourself if you are on the train to nowhere with your sweetheart whispering soft nothings in your ear to lull you into acceptance of this. Well this is my advice to those of you who are pondering this:

Remember the conversations of your first date. Many times a person will clue you in to his/her intentions when they are honest from shyness or alcohol and you brushing it off killed your chances of seeing what the future holds. You should also observe patterns based on exes and gauge your status on things that factor from that. A good example of this is when you find out that you were a rebound – people always behave too optimistically about rebound relationships working out. Rebounds are disastrous and the gap from being a piece of ass to being the love of his/her life is a wide chasm.

Read your Mate – The Signs Are There

Unless your mate is a super tight closed book, there are clues he/she gives from a 3rd persons perspective that you MUST take heed of because it also applies to you. If your guy or gal is very anti-marriage why would you think that he/she would be looking to marry you? If she urges all of her girlfriends to go find a man with money… and you are broke… why aren’t you taking that as a hint? If he is constantly being caught looking at chicks from a particular race, build or set (of which you aren’t a part of) maybe he feels you are a compromise.

The Misunderstood Male

Many times us guys are misunderstood with our intent in a relationship. Women let their bitter, nosy, bitchy girlfriend’s brow beat them into forcing an ultimatum out of their guys and on the flip side men view ultimatums as an attack. For many guys it’s timing, if he truly loves you, believes in marriage and wants you he will seal the deal eventually. Rushing him to get there fast because of your prearranged childhood dreams of 2 kids by 28 or rushing him because it’s been x years and that’s just too long will see you out in the cold dark night of regret.

Many times us men have dreams just like you do and we want to do it correctly. Most men are not cool with breaking the bank for a sub-par engagement ring only for you to laugh at it behind his back with that bitch of a girlfriend who hates him (this is our thoughts). We want to see you light up as if we gave you a planet, and know that we have the resources to handle our manly duty. You may say “I don’t care we can work on that together!” but men do not think this way. A broke man is an unhappy and broken man… sadly if you have a broke man who wants this ideal but isn’t exacting any change or making moves to better his position, you will be stuck with dead weight (sorry fellas I have to be honest).

It’s all about the signs, communication and listening. When I say communication I do not mean an interrogation where you sit him/her down and demand where you stand. What I mean is that in your daily idle talks, movie watching and play time, you observe how your partner thinks, and how they view you. When you are willing to listen, and accept the plain truth, you will then know where you and your relationship stand.

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