Oct 26

I’m wondering if the recent Reebok Easytone settlement will open the floodgates for suits of other products whose advertising claims promise the moon. After all, what product really delivers on its promises anyway?

My lashes are still not great or stiletto. Eating a NutriGrain has yet to  cause me to eat better all day. Yoplait light yogurt could never be confused with a piece of cheesecake. And while Nike’s ads are truly inspirational, generally speaking, I “just” put Nike on. Doing “it” seldom gets done.

Add to that the thing with using celebrities to serve as ad men and women is the implicit promise that you’ll look like them, smell like them, and have some modicum of  success like them in life, love or happiness if you would only use the stuff they’re using.

So Kim Kardashian is one of Easytone’s henchwomen. Surely by anyone’s standards, she’s an attractive woman who just happens to have pretty good looking parents. Quiet as it’s kept, that’s the way it usually works. Nature triumphs nurture in the looks department; although we have to make the best of whatever we are given genetically speaking.  All the tonics, potions and lotions  probably don’t make a big ass difference. (Sorry Ma, that “ass” worked in this context.)

Remember too that beauty is as beauty does.

My advice is to keep it simple. Drink a ton of water. Cut what you eat in half for a couple of weeks and see what happens. Walk somewhere for an hour as many days as you can stand.  Then, get, keep and use a big jar of Vaseline– on everything. Rub it on your nails for a nice sheen, smooth it on your eyebrows to tame them. (The dollar store version probably works as good as anything.) Baking soda is cheap– brush your teeth with it then disinfect your sink. If you don’t have a toothbrush, a washcloth will likely do. Repurposing is a great sign of creativity I’ve discovered.

By the way a lot of that shoe-toning  technology is based on African Masai warriors  who travel long distances — you know it– barefoot!

Ultimately we do come equipped with all we need for a healthy body, mind and soul. So just do it: just use what you got. It works if you work it.

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