Recently I have been reading a lot of articles on other sites that discount relationship advice and hold their givers to a level that is practically impossible to attain. People hint at the fact that if you aren’t perfect (in their eyes) then you cannot be qualified to advise anyone on love and relationships. Of course I cry foul to this as an advice giver myself but this isn’t to say that the people dissing the advice are wrong, I am saying that you cannot counter with such a hard point because let’s face it advice is there because someone asked it originally. Experience breeds mastery and while one man’s experience may vary from another, there is still something to learn from the person who has “been there done that” in order to make one’s struggles a bit easier.
Friend of The Hall Antonio Maurice Daniels wrote an excellent piece about the other end of the coin – people who blindly take relationship advice from one or many sources. The article is called Bombarded with Relationship Advice (please give it a thorough read – he is an excellent writer) and it talks about the popularity of advice giving even from people with questionable track records. As you recall Basement inmate Steve Harvey has been going through hell recently as one of his ex-wives broadcast a bunch of YouTUBE videos calling him out for being a habitual cheater and all-around bastard. The elected black-woman relationship expert now seems even more a hypocrite after penning his bestselling book “Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man”. Now suddenly women who swore by his words are hopping off of his gravy train faster than a Vanilla Ice fan back when he was exposed for being a fake.
I made some lengthy commentary on Antonio’s post and based on Dragon Blog Tip 01 – it was long enough to be it’s own post so I thought I should share my opinion on relationship advice with my readers:
Greg Dragon on being bombarded by Relationship Advice:
Very good article and although I fall into the category of someone who gives relationship advice to others, I do try and preface my advice by letting the readers know that this comes from personal experience. The same argument to “not taking advice from strangers” can be applied to “not discounting good advice from strangers” because ultimately it boils down to what an individual chooses to consume. I feel that a man who is in a position where I was a few years ago could use my guidance based on experience, that same advice will not bide well with someone who isn’t in that position and holds a different belief structure as my own.
We all have to filter what comes into our minds, this goes for all levels of media, from books to television. Nothing is completely wrong, it’s all about what you take from it. The girlfriend telling a woman to leave a man could be giving good advice if the man is a habitual cheater that can and will eventually bring back an STD or worse to his lady. The single guy telling the desperate loser to assert himself and stop being afraid of beautiful women is more qualified (in my opinion) than the married guy advising him to go to church and join a single’s meeting. The problem comes about when we put the advice-givers on a podium, and take their every word as law. Even Steve Harvey had some good points in his book but people inflated those points and ascended him to a level where the ignorant will think that the book is a bible on getting a man.
Finally: People NEED relationship advice, we aren’t islands. Every guy I know that does well by their girls have tugged someone’s sleeve, watched and emulated a movie or read a book that influenced their behavior or reaction to things. Most people just don’t “figure it out”, that’s blog fantasy – the bottom line to any advice is: Get it, process it and then decide whether to accept it.
How do you feel about relationship advice? Has any of it ever helped you? The worst advice I have ever received was from a wolf telling me to call all women bitches… ya that actually happened -___- I can imagine the type of man I would’ve turned into had I followed that advice.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.