Sep 26


I would like to express my discontent with the men in the gym who troll for women to talk to and possibly get a number. Over the last couple of years, I have been that unfortunate chick without an Ipod or any other means of blocking out the “hey shawty” while I’m doing my thing on the treadmill. Recently I finally obtained means of personal music thinking that it would do the trick. I mean, if I am unavailable to hear your pick up line, then I shouldn’t have to worry about coming up with some sort of nice let down, right? Wrong. I am definitely an advocate for the “go to the gym to workout” club as I don’t believe the gym is either the time or place for getting numbers.  However, since there are men who know not of this rule and insist on breaking it, I figure I should help them out a bit and give ways not to piss her off.

Fail #1 – Let Me Join You Guy

Girl is on the treadmill with headphones on so Guy decides the way to get her attention is to get on the adjacent treadmill and give her the “eye” through the mirror.  Girl ignores Guy even though she sees in her peripheral that he’s looking at her and trying to get her attention by waving his hands sort of in the manner of which a person from across the room motions for their friends. He does this until she responds then he proceeds to motion for her to take the buds out. After all this, Guy can only come up with “What do you listen to when you work out”. Girl says “music”. Guy says “what kind”. Girl annoyingly says “everything”. Guy says “what do you do when you aren’t listening to music”?  Girl looks at Guy and says “I gotta go” and puts her ear buds back in while walking away from him.

Fail #2 – Joe Encouragement

Girl is lifting weights and is clearly in a zone where she is pushing herself to the limit.  Guy stands over her and says something to the effect of “You can do it. Lift that last one, girl!”. Girl looks at him and gives him the side eye. Guy smiles and comments on how he may be in trouble because muscle bound Girl will come after him. Girl tries hard not to respond because that will give him ammo to keep talking.

Fail #3 – Mister Sweaty Palms

Girl catches Guy looking at her as she is making her way through her circuits.  Guy finally gets the nerve to speak to Girl but comes over and extends a hand to introduce himself. Girl looks at his hand and is disgusted as, naturally, both his and her hands are sweaty and touching sweaty hands is gross.  Girl looks at his hand and says “nice to meet you”, turns around and goes back to her leg press.

Okay – these situations are like sudden death for Guy. 1) Girl clearly doesn’t want to be bothered and will be pissed if she loses her breathing pace due to shooing you off.  After all, she is there to work out, not meet and greet.  2) Girl does not find you attractive. If she did, she would have made herself available if you wanted to talk by either taking the earphones out, or simply working on a machine close to you.  What Guy should have done in all three situations to create a less hostile environment is to wait until she is either on a water break or just done with her work out.  Serious workout girl is not going to appreciate your interruption and will be much more receptive to your advances after she is finished. If she did want to discuss her weights with you and carry on conversation, then she would actually take a break and do so, not give short answers or glances.

Believe me I have had my share of courteous conversation that comes back to bite me unless I change my work out time, but I have been told I’m too nice at times so the majority of chicks in the gym will probably be much more harsh than I ever was.  Just be perceptive guys, there is no need to rush into conversation while she is in mid workout.  She’s there for a reason so she’s not going anywhere.  If she is feeling you, then you will know and recognize the “in” when it is presented to you. No need to force the issue. Doing this may lead to your public embarrassment or worse, she changes her workout time solely to get away from you and you never get your second chance.

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