Jan 12

The day I received flowers I went through a mix of emotions that bordered on “what the f—“. It was confusing, like maybe they were delivered to the wrong person, then I was flattered, and then I wondered how pissed off she would be if I gave them to the company admin (she likes flowers) or if I simply threw them away. Flowers clipped and gifted are doomed for death anyway right? Plus it’s the thought that counts; she wanted me to know that she was thinking about me and I got the message loud and clear – so what if I take that awkward gift and left it in the break room by the dumpster?

The above situation is descriptive of a thought process that goes through many men’s minds when their new girlfriend, lover or crush decides to flip the traditional gender switch and send them flowers. It’s not that it is emasculating in anyway or below us as men to receive a pretty gift – it’s just a blindside hit that we are unable to process easily.

Growing up and being drilled with stories of romance from our grandparents (since our generation s convinced that new school males are devoid of suave, chivalry and manners); we have been programmed to accept that flowers are for girls and ties are for guys. Think about it, I am 100% right. Just like it took a few years for men to accept that pink is just a color and not an immediate surrendering of your manhood, it will take time for us to start accepting flowers and chocolates from a lady-suitor.

Better ways to think outside the box

Women can be very appreciative of men who listen, pay attention and gift things that are not only completely unexpected but something private and personal. This does not always work for men, being that many of us have been guilty of getting a personal gift and shrugging it off as “cool”. We like simple, cool and somewhat unexpected gifts.

If you want to blow a man’s mind after he’s done something write by you then order an NFL package for him on his cable network. Send some food to his workplace from his favorite restaurant (unless you know he lunches regularly with his boys, then don’t even bother). If you are sleeping with him, don’t go buying some lingerie goodness to attempt at playing stripper for him if you know that he isn’t easily rattled like that. If he likes strippers then give his friend $100, have him take your man to the strip club with an open invitation to blow your back out after the club visit. Now that’s thinking outside the box (pun intended).

To many men a woman giving flowers will come off as lazy and weird and he may not even mention it or thank you. Imagine how embarrassing that is:

Woman: Hey guy, did you get the flowers I sent you today?

Man: Ya I did, erm… thanks? (meanwhile he’s salty that he is the office joke for a month now.)

This isn’t to say that all men would react negatively to flowers but these are things to consider if it ever crossed your mind. Flowers, like pizza are things men send other men as practical jokes to break balls and troll. So when he walks into his office and sees that floaty, balloon, flowery concoction – it may just take him awhile to recover from the shock and accompanying emotional confusion.

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  • Hi Greg Dragon,
    What are you talking about???? I did not think twice about sending my honey flowers – and yes, just to let him know I was thinking about him – (well, it was to his hotel room and not to an office). But there was nothing confusing about the appropriateness of the reaction.

    Not to be crass, but don’t women meet their macho military men at the airport with flowers? Don’t we adorn our men’s hospital room with flowers? Isn’t it customary to “decorate” a coffin/grave site with flowers? Nobody thinks its emasculating at these events, and the man does not even have to be metrosexual!!

    The beauty of the century is, we can rewrite the rules. So lighten up and celebrate all expression of love and appreciation for what they are worth – the thought. I bet your mama will send you flowers on the job this year fro your birthday!!! HA!

  • I think that it’s more about the message behind the flowers than the flowers themselves. If people at the office make a joke out of it, then they will have to just joke. If someone takes out time to give me a gift, even if it’s flowers, I’m going to be highly appreciative and not worry about what others are thinking. Additionally, if someone is willing to spend money on me, then I will express my gratitude, even if it’s flowers.