I know the title is rude but I got your attention didn’t I? One of the many unspoken issues in relationships is the issue of weight and change once the honeymoon period is over and a man and woman are finally being themselves.
I was raised in a household of immense honesty, so when I was looking bad you better believe I heard about it. My family doesn’t hold anything back that way and we have always chosen fitness first due to my mother’s Diet Nazi routine as kids. This being said, growing into a man and dealing with women and their weight issues, I have had to learn to bite my tongue instead of being the way I am with my family.
In a relationship, when it comes to a chick going from 105lbs to 145lbs as soon as she got comfortable – a man is immediately the bad guy if he mentions that she needs to slow down a bit. Lots of women go into denial and are not equipped to reverse the weight (especially young women who have never had to work out before), so it creates anxiety and hurt feelings over motivation to get back slim.
As a young man who was always health-conscious, I would just move on gracefully whenever I stopped being attracted to my mate. I didn’t even tell them it was the weight, because that would just lead to needless drama; her feeling bad, and me becoming the “shallow” asshole to all of her friends instead of the guy who was afraid of commitment, which is how I’d spin it.
But as I got older and started meeting women that I genuinely liked, I would go ahead and mention the weight, and the fact that it would become an issue for me. Most women were fine with hearing it and the next phase would be me helping them to find the information needed to change their lifestyle to a healthier one. But many men aren’t as blessed as I am to find an understanding mate.
Reading many blogs and eZines that cater mostly to women, I noticed that there are many who are highly opposed to hearing about their weight from a man. One comment even quipped that men are never perfect so how dare they even bring the subject of weight up. But why would a man stay in a relatively new relationship if it turns out that his girl will continue to grow away from the slender beauty that he met? Outside of the fairy-tale deal that he dated you (when you were looking fine in a mini-skirt and heels) for your large brain and sense of humor?
What would women in general prefer? Should we dump you and move on to more genetically freaky beauties, or should we mention that you have grown 3 sizes since we started dating?
Many men operate on the standard that I used as a young man, where the only people that would hear about the weight gain were my boys and the exit interview would be held so that I could move on quickly. I often hear women online say that they want someone who will be patient… but with weight-gain the patience needed for someone to be motivated that way would have to be Zen-like.
I think on how lazy and entitled so many people are and I cannot imagine that many guys will stick it out with a growing woman unless he’s held down by marriage, children, or threat of death from her father. So women, which option would you prefer? Should we keep our opinion to ourselves, or would you rather know the truth about why your man is losing his interest in you?See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.